My boyfriend (24M) and I (25F) have been together for about 3.5 years. Prior to him, I had never had sex. Just a few random series of casual dates and some making out. I wanted to wait until I was with someone I cared a lot about to have sex and it just never happened until him. On the other hand, he had a long-term relationship of 1.5 years and sex before we got together.
I didn't think his past would bother me at first. But now that I'm looking at the very real possibility of us being together for the rest of our lives (which is what we both want), I'm having some complicated feelings. I'm incredibly jealous that he had sex before me. I'm jealous he's seen other women naked (he's the only guy I've seen more than shirtless). I'm jealous he has had another girlfriend. And I'm filled with regret that I didn't sleep around before him. I feel like I missed out on sex with other people and just the general life experience of going through a breakup and experiencing different relationships.
Is it ridiculous for me to feel this way? I know I should be grateful for what I have, but I can't help but feel angry at my past self sometimes for the choices I made. Can anyone offer advice or solidarity?
Neither of us wants an open relationship. I just want to get over how I feel.
TL;DR: I am jealous of my boyfriend's past and regretful of my lack of experience before him. How do I cope with this while remaining in our monogamous relationship?
Submitted June 27, 2021 at 04:56PM by jealousjj15 https://ift.tt/35UgzpD
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