My dad has a habit of always wanting to show off, and to be honest, it's really started to annoy me in recent years. It basically goes like this. Whenever he buys something, he has to invite someone over to show them, and he most often does this with people from our church
When our parents renovated the dining room with a new table and cabinet a few years back, they would literally discuss who they should invite over from church after Sunday, and they would also put photos of the renovation on FaceBook every single time they upgraded something, sometimes even with the fellow leaders/friends they'd invite from church (with the new table set/cabinet in the background), and sometimes the same exact shot with different people, just to show off whatever new set they got
They also have a habit of inviting guests (some who I'm not even close with) upstairs and showing them our bedrooms like when we removed the carpet and shined the hardwood floors underneath, or when we had it painted or got a new bed set or desk or something. Sometimes they even do this when I'm not even home and my room is a mess and I ask them not to, but they'll invite people inside of our rooms and have even opened a few draws on my new desk a few times too, and it's stuff like that that I find annoying, but at the end of the day, feel like it's a stupid/meaningless thing to get upset about, but sometimes, it still bugs me, but not as much as what happened last week
My parents love to throw parties to also show off a lot of stuff, and since we haven't had one since 2019 thanks to covid, they said that they want to hold one this summer, and my dad used his stimulus checks (along with tax returns) to renovate the backyard with a fire pit and 2 new table sets, a set of 2 shade structures and some new kitchen appliances and grill. All cool stuff and stuff I really like, but what bothers me most, is what he wants us to do at it
He's asked me to put together slideshows in the past, to have playing while we have guest over of photos of our family throughout the year, along with asking me to sometimes put my sports trophies on the fireplace for display, something I did a few times, but honestly don't like showing them off and especially because they're very old and from when I was younger. For my sister, he'd always bring our guests into the family room (on Thanksgiving and Christmas too) to show them some videos of her sports from the past year, and while my sister hates watching this and asks for them not to show it, he shows it anyway despite how she's embarrassed, but my main issue comes with what he asked her to do last week
I used to play soccer growing up, and my sister is enrolled in youth programs at a local circus school and often does many of the school-break camps as well, and she also does privates and group classes over the weekend. She's been doing it for a few years, and she still does it now. However, my dad purchased her a set of handstand canes that she loves and has been practicing with for the past year, but instead of showing a video of some of her past stuff like in years past, he wants her to demonstrate her skills at the party in place of the video he would usually show, and she doesn't want to for two different reasons
The smaller reason is that she's really shy and doesn't feel comfortable doing it, but her bigger reason is that dad wants her to wear an outfit he bought for her that she doesn't feel comfortable wearing, and my mom doesn't like it either, but dad's really insistent on making her wear it, and whenever she says that she doesn't want to perform or wear it, he gets upset and tells her that she's being "ungrateful" for the canes he bought her, and mom doesn't really say much to defend her at all, but she isn't crazy about the outfit because she thinks it's too revealing, and I also agree with that, and my sister has said the same thing too, but dad really likes it and really wants her to demonstrate at the party
But, I feel like we're now being objectified, just like the furniture that he buys and feels that he has to show off, and it's getting on my nerves. Sure, he's entitled to do what he wants with his money, but forcing my sister to wear an outfit he picked out, then saying she's being "ungrateful" for him purchasing the handstand canes when she doesn't want to perform/wear it, just ticks me off when he won't listen to us, and mom isn't standing up for her either
I want to get through to him, but I don't know how after I've talked to him, and he's repeatedly told me to mind my own business, and he's also happy with me and how I made the slideshow for him to show in years past and expects me to do it again too, but I feel like he's more concerned about showing off his purchases/us more than he actually cares about us sometimes, and I'm just trying to find a way to get through to him, if possible. I'll take any advice that I can get to bring up to him, or anything else that anyone wants to advise before the party takes place
TL;DR: My dad has a habit of always showing off his big purchases/renovations and inviting people over for the sole reason of showing off and taking photos of them in front of the new furniture, and he's forcing my sister to wear an outfit she doesn't feel comfortable wearing at a party he'll be having in the summer after renovating the backyard with his tax returns and stimulus checks, and he doesn't hear her or me when she doesn't feel comfortable wearing it
Edit: Some others have said to try grey rocking, but some others have recommended an alternative of having her and dad potentially choose/buy a new outfit together that they can agree on, and those are my two ideas so far
It's just annoying how mom agrees that the outfit is too revealing, but won't talk to dad or do anything to help her, along with how dad just seems fixated on her wearing this outfit that he picked out himself, as "gratitude" for the handstand canes he bought her last year. That was supposed to be a gift, but apparently there was some unspoken strings attached that he didn't tell her about
Submitted April 30, 2021 at 04:50PM by Throwraawkward22 https://ift.tt/3eP3cuZ
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