I [35F] got married a year ago. No one wanted to speak at the reception on my behalf, especially not my best friend/maid of honor [35F]. Is it unreasonable that it still bothers me?

So I got married a year ago. The wedding and reception were both wonderful and everyone still says today that they had a great time. There's one thing that bothers me...no one wanted to say anything on my behalf. I know it isnt mandatory but having been to so many weddings, it was nice to hear people express themselves on behalf of their friends/relative getting married.

Months in advance I had asked my MOH if she would be speaking at the wedding and she gave me an inconclusive answer. The best man had also been asking about that because he wanted to know if he needed to change his speech. At first my MOH just ignored the question, the second time she said she didnt know and when I finally asked again because the venue needed to know (and I needed to finalize a schedule) and also asked if any of the bridesmaids would say anything, they pointedly directed the question back to the MOH who finally said no. Okay ...disappointing since myself and all the bridesmaids have known each other for almost 30 years...

I also had asked my parents if they would say a few words if no one else stepped up for me. My dad really isnt good at putting things into words and he said right away that he was too shy to speak in public. Fair enough, Im introverted and shy like my dad. My mom kindly asked my oldest sibling if they would want to as they happen to be a writer but they immediately became defensive and made a huge stink about saying it was our parents job...I told my sibling not to worry about it because they were creating too much drama over it. However, fact that they created so much drama to ensure they didnt have to do anything for me was pretty disheartening. My other sibling has social anxiety so I didnt expect them to say anything. I have no other relatives where we live.

We had to tell the best man nothing was planned and he cut his speech down. On the wedding day the best man said his lengthy speech and afterwards all the bridesmaids awkwardly made their way to the podium... of the 5 of them, the MOH said nothing, one bridesmaid took over and said a quick congratulations to us both and that was it..I appreciated that they said something but it was awkward, obviously unplanned, and if not for the one bridesmaid no one would have said anything at all.

Anyway so this actually still bothers me over a year later. I didn't ask anything of my bridesmaids at all. I did everything for the wedding on my own or with my spouse or with my moms help. I let them pick out their own dresses, didnt care about how they styled themselves, or about makeup, hair, shoes etc. I pretty much just told them to agree on a dress and they can do whatever they wanted otherwise, it was all very easy going. My mother arranged, decorated, and hosted my wedding shower with no help from them. We did have a bachelorette party overnight somewhere but other than the location the MOH had nothing else planned.. I thought she was screwing with my head when she kept asking on the drive what I wanted to do. Overall the only thing I asked them to do was rsvp on time with their guests, pick up their dresses, and for the MOH to say something at the wedding. Every now and then I remember that part of the wedding and I feel sad and hurt by it. I didnt expect much...I sure didnt ask for much. But I felt like a loser of a bride knowing that no one wanted to say anything at my wedding. I still feel shitty about it. I havent discussed this with anyone but my husband who was also upset on my behalf. My relationship with my MOH has changed somewhat since then. I dont see her quite the same because of how I was let down... I now have a baby and although I always said she could be godmother to future babies, I just dont see her as reliable enough for that either.

I guess Im wondering if I'm overreacting? Would this bother anyone else?

TLDR: Got married, everyone refused to speak at my reception for me including the MOH. I feel shitty about it still.

Submitted April 30, 2021 at 09:34PM by lecafe https://ift.tt/3e9D7HI