I met an amazing man a couple months before the pandemic hit. He is vulnerable, willing to have deep conversations, and I truly feel like he is a special being. I’ve been in several long-term relationships and have never felt this type of connection before.
Soon into us dating, he explained he was celibate because of his faith. He told me this would be his first relationship where he wouldn’t be engaging in sex. It’s because he is leaning more into his faith at this stage of his life. Celibacy isn’t something I have ever dealt with in a relationship. However, he seemed worth the wait and I agreed. We haven’t done anything sexual throughout the time we have been together.
There have been some roadblocks in our relationship. For example, a few months ago, out of nowhere, he told me that he wasn’t sure he was able to meet my needs and that maybe the relationship shouldn’t continue. I was shocked. Things were weird for a week or two until we patched up.
We have progressed nicely since then. He brought up the idea of an engagement and we have been ring shopping. Our parents have both gotten vaccinated and made the effort to meet in-person. Having our parents meet made things feel solidified.
But last week, my bf hit me with a bombshell. Out of nowhere, he told me he was unfaithful. He paid a sex worker to perform a service on him and admitted to also having done this a few months ago - in the height of the pandemic. (Looking back it was around the time he told me he wasn’t sure he could meet my needs).
I feel so hurt and disappointed for multiple reasons. He put my health at risk by visiting strangers during Covid. And this entire time - he told me he was unable to be sexually intimate ... and then it seems like it just couldn’t be with me?
I immediately wondered if he was addicted to sex. I spoke with him again and he admitted he had been to anon meetings for promiscuity and seeking out sex work in the past. It’s been a recurring issue.
I am so, so conflicted. I feel like I have an incredibly special relationship with someone who is so vulnerable and wants marriage, kids, a home. But at the same time, I’m not sure how to overcome an issue like this. I understand addiction is a disease and I’m not sure how to support as we move forward. Should I cut my losses and run? Or is this something we can work through and fix?
TL;DR - my boyfriend of 1 year who claimed to be celibate due to his faith paid for sex work and admitted to sex addiction. is it possible to overcome an issue like this?
Submitted April 10, 2021 at 06:28AM by throwaway6121215 https://ift.tt/3a1GQVf
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