[UPDATE: I talked to him when I got home and told him how I was feeling. So we contacted all the vendors - it's official the wedding has been pushed back 1 year]
TL; DR: Fiance lied about his current financial situation. He has a lot of credit card debt. Thinking about calling off the wedding. Advice?
My fiance and I have been together for 4 years, and engaged for 1. Our wedding is currently in July, but I am thinking about calling it off.
Last week, my fiance and I were discussing our finances and what our plan should be for marriage. I mentioned that we should see financial advisor since we were both confused about the merging of bank accounts and assets. Immediately after mentioning this, he begins to silently panic. I've known him for quite sometime and can easily tell when he is panicky.
Noticing his reaction, I asked him if this would be an issue? He responds and says that he needs to come clean about his finances.
**Now I want to note that my fiance and I have always been incredibly open and honest about everything. When it came to finances, we have made it routine to check in a few times a week to discuss finances, accounts, savings, spending habits, etc.
We both grew up in homes where financial instability ultimately destroyed our families and helped end our parent's marriages. So we both take financial security and honesty super seriously (or so I thought)**
Long story short and many many tears later, he explains that he is deep in credit card debt and it's a card/account that I did not know about.
As someone who has been cheated on previously by past partners sexually, I honestly never thought financial infidelity would hurt more.
He says he is open to going to premarital counseling and that he didn't mean to lie for so long about this account. He said he had planned on telling me about it before the wedding because he knew I was going to find out soon enough once we combined everything.
Nothing he said made me feel better. I feel like I have been tricked. I feel betrayed. Everything I have done regarding money and spending has always been done with him in mind (more specifically, our future).
We have never had any issues like this. Ever. He was, in my mind after years of being together, the perfect person to me.
But he lied. It kills me to think what might happen if he brings this debt and poor spending habits into our potential marriage. I'm terrified that even if we go through counseling and resolve things there that I'm still going to feel like I can never trust him again.
I have worked my butt off to build a great foundation for our marriage and I thought he was doing the same. I love him so much, but trust and honesty are imperative to me.
I could go on and on and on, but I need advice. I don't want to call of the wedding, but I need to protect my future and my financial security. Advice?
Submitted April 01, 2021 at 06:31PM by ProfessionalChoice39 https://ift.tt/3dvxfa6
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