I really love my boyfriend and we’re really happy together. I also think he’s super interesting and fun to hang out with! The only problem is that he talks too much for my liking - not necessarily CONSTANT talking, but more that when we are talking about something he’s interested in, he just does not stop.
He’ll start a thought, explain it a few different ways, reach a conclusion, and then go back to the original point and explore that even more. He’s basically thinking out loud and I love that he’s relaxed around me enough to do that. The problem is that he essentially just monologues at me, and if I have any response, I forget it by the time he’s done talking or I’m so exhausted I just want to end the conversation.
I’m sure this is hurting him too, because he must feel that I’m not interested in what he has to say. But I am! I just get talked AT so much. Here are some things I’ve tried:
1) straight up telling him. He’ll be understanding and make a point of asking me questions and inviting responses, but only for that chat. Afterwards, back to normal
2) Interrupting him. Sometimes this works, but once I’ve said my bit, he’ll just pick up where he was again. Sometimes he doesn’t let me interrupt
3) Bringing up things other topics to move the chat along. He’ll listen to me and then just go back to his thing.
I hope none of this sounds mean. I love him and want to talk to him! But so much of what he says is just repeating himself or going into excessive detail that it stops feeling like a conversation. He potentially has ADD, for anyone wondering but never diagnosed. He struggles with excessive hyperfocus, not hyperactivity. Together 2 years, living together 8 months.
TL;DR My boyfriend is lovely and really interesting, but has a tendency to monologue that I find very difficult and exhausting.
Submitted April 10, 2021 at 03:00AM by lizzygrant85 https://ift.tt/325azbs
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