I met this guy when I was 19, we got together pretty quickly. We quickly fell in love, were having the best sex, and got pregnant six months later. He wanted children so badly and I thought we'd be together forever. We got married when I was 4 months pregnant. During my pregnancy I struggled a lot emotionally. I was never angry, just very sad. He didn't do a very good job of being there for me. I had my son late January. Two weeks after I had my son, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression.
Another week later, I found out he was having an emotional affair with his coworker. Riley was skinny and had her emotions in check, which made me insecure. I asked him to stop talking to her, he told me he wanted a divorce. They started dating officially in March. The pandemic had started about this same time, and so he was out of a job and couldn't find another place to live. We never stopped having sex. I didn't care he was cheating on this girl because she's a homewrecker and he was still my husband. I finally put my foot down in June/July, and kicked him out. We stopped having sex for a little while but reconciled and became friends, and then he kept initiating sex with me.
In October we went to finalize our divorce, but since we were in a good place I asked him if we could not divorce and try fixing our marriage. He chose Riley once again.
In December we went to see his parents together, and he realized everything was his fault, and he wanted to fix our marriage. Riley and him broke up but decided to stay friends. But he couldn't hold a job, so he decided to move out of state to live with his parents. He tried for weeks to convince me to give him another shot. He has Borderline Personality Disorder so I didn't want to ask him to cut out one of his friends. But I decided if we were gonna make our marriage work, he had to cut the homewrecker out of his life.
We got to a really really good place, I started trusting him again, and truly fell in love again. I was going to move to across the country to be with him. Then I found out he was still talking to Riley daily, and I asked him to block her this time. So he did. This led to him having a BPD episode, and he told me he was asexual and has never been sexually attracted to anyone. The next day he told me he didn't want anything romantic so he could see a therapist and work on himself. He then unblocked her on everything. Within days she was his best friend on snapchat again. I told him I needed to move on, it was causing me too much hurt. Now he says he would date her in the future again but never me again because I didn't "react well" to him wanting to "focus on himself".
TL;DR My ex-husband and I tried to rekindle, but he proved to be the same he has always been. Now its hard to have a friendship with him for our son. He expects me to support him emotionally and even talk about his and the Riley's relationship with him, but is never there for me.
Should I even try to fix our friendship for our son? Or is it best to only talk when it concerns our child? Does anyone with BPD have any insight?
Submitted February 17, 2021 at 05:43AM by kittens_thoughts https://ift.tt/2M1bZQ1
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