It's been five years since I lost my girlfriend, the love of my life. My everything. My best friend. She was taken from me when a guy in a pickup truck was looking at his phone and didn't stop at the red light. Because the message he was looking at was so fucking important, I guess. It was pretty immediate, her passing. She didn't even make it to the hospital. But the truck driver only came out of it with a broken arm and broken ribs from flipping his truck.
We met as juniors in high school, both in our school's technology and robotics club. She loved robots, it was her passion. She was gifted, truly gifted. We had our similar interests like video games, pokemon, movies, you name it. We made each other laugh at the best of times over the smallest things. And when she'd get angry with me about something, I'd just smile at her with some goofy grin as an "I'm sorry" as she stared through my soul. We also lost our virginity with each other. It was extremely awkward the first time and obviously got better and better the more we did it, growing ever closer. We remained a couple all the way through college, too obviously. She got her degree in Mechanical Engineering and me in IT. We were both 25 when the accident happened.
I didn't let her hand go all night, even when her family came and mine did. She was so beautiful. The impact was what killed her obviously. But it's like she was just sleeping in bed like normal. Only a few scars that were already stitched up and her arm in a cast that they had put back in place, but otherwise perfect.
The only reason I let her hand go is because her family had decided to go through with a funeral and would handle her from there. They always liked me, so I trusted their decision. But if they hadn't shown up, I was prepared to carry her out of there myself. As for the truck driver, he came by as I was leaving and it took every last molecule in my body to not rip his head off his fucking shoulders and throw it through a fucking window. A life for a life. But my dad held me back as I screamed myself hoarse at him and he took me to the parking lot.
It's now five years later and I'm just dead inside and out. There's nothing to me. Sure I have my job that pays well and family that loves me, but I hate coming home because I know my bed will be empty. The bed we shared. I still sleep on my side of it. I just can't do anything about her and our memories. I haven't even had sex since her passing, at least not successfully. The last few girls I tried to do it with, I just saw her face. Any time I try and pleasure myself, all I think of is her and the things we did together in bed to make each other satisfied.
And yes, I know you're going to say "She'd want you to be happy", and you're right. She would. But I just can't let her go. I can't because I'm afraid if I'm ever with another woman, I'll just always think of her. If that means being alone the rest of my life, then so be it.
TL;DR - A distracted truck driver crashed into my girlfriend's car and killed her and now I don't know what to do with myself
Submitted January 31, 2021 at 04:51PM by honest_scenario https://ift.tt/3alTyO6
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