My bf (24M) and I (23F) agreed to do something special for each other on v-day. I spent hours making him a fancy meal and he wrote 2 lines in a card.

I don't know if what happened justifies me being so upset but a couple weeks ago I suggested to my bf of 3 years that we each do something special for each other instead of ordering takeaway like we would on Valentine's day. He agreed and I though that would be a nice unique way of showing our love for one another. I know he's a fan of a particular cuisine so I spent some time researching how to make it from scratch, bought all the (costly) ingredients and spent 3 hours cooking on the day. Now, he did know about my "present" and I assumed his would match mine in terms of effort.

However, on Valentine's day all I got from him was a store bought card with 2 lines in it. Something like "I love you, hope you know how much I appreciate you". I tried to hide my disappointment initially but he could tell I was upset. I finally told him that I was expecting something more, especially since he knew what I was doing for him. He said that he simply thought that that meal was what we were "doing on the day" and was going to come up with "his surprise" at some future point. Idk, to me that sounds like he couldn't be bothered to think of anything and just used it as an excuse.

The thing is, I don't care about the monetary value of the gift at all, a back massage from him, an at-home spa night, a jar of cute things he likes about me, all of these would've been amazing but instead I feel like I got nothing (despite the card). How do I address this with him without sounding ungrateful?

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TL;DR: We agreed to do something nice for each other and it feels like he completely used it as a "get out of Valentine's day free card".

Submitted February 15, 2021 at 10:59AM by ThrowRA-9372-G https://ift.tt/2OyKLB2