This is going to be long, I'm sorry in advance. Here is the history:
My husband dated a girl for a couple years then decided to raise her son because the child's dad wasn't really in the picture much. So my husband does things like pays for his classes, drives him around, spends a lot on gifts, etc. I will call the child Joe for the sake of this post and anonymity. Joe is now 14 years old.
I have been with my husband for 8 years and have had a very good relationship with Joe all of those years.
Joe's mom has been a complete and utter nightmare to deal with for the duration of our relationship. There has been constant drama on her end, and every life event we have ever had (engagement, moving, married, and now pregnancy) has resulted in major dramatic outbursts as she attempts to get my husband's attention and cause drama. She uses Joe as a tool to create these situations.
Examples, when we got married he "couldn't come to the wedding". When we moved our house "wasn't good enough for him". Etc. She constantly blames my husband for anything that goes on and treats him like complete garbage, saying he doesn't do enough for Joe "doesn't do anything" is her favorite line despite all that he does. She has a victim mentality and projects that onto my husband and even Joe. "You don't know how hard it is, my life is so hard, you do NOTHING" etc. - despite having a lot of support from her baby daddy (she has another child with a different dad too) and financial support from Joe's bio dad, and a large family that helps too, but she constantly makes my husband feel like crap by accusing him of not doing enough, despite my husband going above and beyond and trying to reach out to Joe on a daily basis.
So Covid hits, I am high risk pregnant and have to be under mandatory quarantine, so nobody can come to our house including Joe (Joe's mom doesn't believe in covid really and socializes constantly). My risk level is not a joke but my entire pregnancy I have been treated badly by my husband because of Joe not being able to come over here. They have been getting together outdoors, going for walks, dinners, etc, so still seeing each other a lot. Recently it has been less because we live in a part of the US where it gets cold and nobody wants to walk in the cold.
My husband has fought with me constantly and stressed me out because he prioritizes Joe over everything including me and our unborn child. He doesn't seem to take my safety seriously and everytime Joe doesn't want to see him, he takes it out on me. It has truly been a miserable experience.
Today Joe's mom told my husband that Joe is suicidal and it's all his fault because Joe can't come to our house because of my high risk pregnancy. My husband of course took the bait and immediately started yelling at me because my pregnancy prevented Joe from coming over saying how Joe needs to come over again right away, etc etc. I refused and that caused an argument.
Now Joe also has been treating my husband badly, only calling him if he wants something like a video game or money and ignoring him and being rude to him every other time he reaches out. He has started playing games and saying how his life is so terrible (victim type stuff). He ignores his calls but then calls him and demands money. It's pretty frustrating to witness.
I will stop but At this point I believe that Joe comes before everything including me and our baby, and I'm getting closer to the end of my pregnancy (1.5 months out). This stress has really affected my mental health and I'm really worried about how much worse this will be after the baby is here. It's gotten to the point where I don't want anything to do with Joe anymore because I am becoming so incredibly resentful.
Tl;dr: I feel like my husband's ex drama has ruined my pregnancy, Should I be concerned about the future of our relationship? How do we move forward from here?! I'm looking for advice please.
Submitted February 09, 2021 at 12:43AM by hmmidkidk https://ift.tt/3cWX3gW
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