Me and my husband (together for 4 years) both have jobs where we have weekends off, which I consider very fortunate. I see Saturdays and Sundays as days we should be out with our two children (1.5 and 3) and having fun. Sure, places like the aquarium and pool are closed but in our area there is an abundance of parks, cute neighborhoods, trails, etc to explore. I believe it is important that our children have active lifestyles.
On the other hand, my husband’s idea of a perfect day is playing video games with a beer, alone with his door closed, while our kids are, I don’t know, plopped in front of a TV or if I am just watching them.
Today, I dragged him to a park a half hour drive away. (Not a playpark, I mean an actual state park). I consider it my job as a parent to keep my children engaged, let them explore, etc. My husband didn’t say a word the entire trip, except to express that he wanted to cut our walk short and leave. He was looking at his phone for much of the outing. Whenever our kids are toddling around jumping in puddles, and being slow walkers, he is visibly pained and has no patience to just let them be kids. He tries to rush them along, or stands around looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. This is not abnormal for him, this is the everyday attitude.
As usual, I took nice photos of him and the kids walking together, but when I ask him to take pictures of me and the kids he acts like it is the most annoying request in the world. Oh, and if I ask him to retake the photo because my hair was messy or something, he will audibly sigh and clench his jaw.
Once our kids go to bed, he completely ignores me. Honestly I am kind of OK with that but it is literally every night.
Sometimes when I try to talk to him about a current news topic, etc, he will say he doesn’t want to talk about it (e.g. he finds the news item personally frustrating). But then I will hear him talking on the phone with his family and friends and he will bring up and chat about that exact same news item.
At home, he is always sulking, sighing, disengaged, acting miserable. Sometimes I think about how it would be nice for me and the kids to have a small condo nearby where only we lived, so that we didn’t have to have his negative energy dragging us down every day, where he doesn’t even say good morning to the kids with a smile on his face, doesn’t even look at me when he walks by me in the hall, never has anything positive to say about me. He is in a happy, smiley mood about 5-9% of the time.
Was he always sulky and negative? Kind of, yes. Before marriage and kids it was definitely better. But my thinking is, he is a loyal man and he and I share the same philosophy about many things. Obviously not about having fun in life, though.
I question: what kind of person will I become after enduring 20, 30, 40+ years of this negative environment?
TL;DR My husband is always sighing, sulking, and has a negative energy that affects everyone around him and never wants to go anywhere, whereas I want to smile, have fun, and enjoy the short time I've been given on this Earth. Is this a compatible marriage?
Submitted February 07, 2021 at 09:11PM by greatoutdoors44 https://ift.tt/3q51nhB
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