I [32F] have been contacted by biological father’s close family member [50s]. How do I handle this situation?

TL;DR: I’ve never had the urge to have any contact with abusive (towards my mom) biological father or his family due to having a full and privileged life, no thanks to them. How do I handle (or not) communicating this to biological father’s family member?

A family member of abusive (towards my mom) biological father recently contacted me [32F] via social media. It’s been 25+ years since I’ve interacted or seen biological father or any of his family. I have no emotional connection to any of them and they’re so far removed from my thoughts that I had to ask my mom if she knew who this person was. With much help of the man who raised me and whom I call dad, I’d like to believe that I’ve lead a pretty full and privileged life. Despite my dad being such an exceptional male figure, eventually I had to work through my insecurities and trust issues I attribute biological father sowed so many years back. The emotional side of me is upset for many reasons: ONE - I don’t want to undo all the emotional work I’ve invested in myself by opening pandora’s box. TWO - this person tracked me down, despite having the strictest privacy settings, not to mention I’m now married and don’t carry my maiden name (they didn’tget the hint that I didn’t want to be found). THREE - the time they’ve allowed to pass given that I’ve been on social media for 15 years and they’ve been on for 10 years. So why now? What changed? What do they want? The logical side of me is aware that this person is not necessarily to blame for biological father’s past actions and understand why some would want to contact a “long lost” relative. However, I don’t believe it’s this person’s place to contact me, knowing that if I were to respond they’d let biological father know.

I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to live with unresolved thoughts. My gut says not to respond but am worried that eventually more of them will try to contact me.

Since you all know what to say in situations like these, can you steer me in the right direction?

Submitted February 19, 2021 at 01:26AM by W0rldWanderer https://ift.tt/3k7YwCk