TL;DR: We broke up a long time ago, but my feelings are still very strong. I tried to look after my mental health but nothing seems to really work, and I just want to be able to move on.
Hi reddit,
To make it brief: almost 4 years ago I had a break-up from a 3-year relationship. Even though we did not mean it, we hurt each other quite a lot, to the point where she decided to go her own way and cut all form of contact. Back in the day this was pretty devastating, but I tried my best to deal with the situation and fix my person. However, my feelings for her are "stuck".
Furthermore, this last summer we texted for the first (and only) time since, and even though the conversation went quite fine actually, it felt like she was completely over it. Which would be great, I don't think that either of us deserves to feel the way I do after so much time.
However, it got me thinking, and I am worried about my personal well-being. When back in the day all went wrong I decided not to pressure myself into being fine and take all the time that was necessary to heal up.
It's just that I am very tired, reddit, of seeing how time goes by and the raw feeling still remains. I think that I have tried to follow a healthy recovery path: my rational side has the situation very well accepted (I know that I am in love with an idealised version of her by my memory) , I have been fortunate enough as to count with the support from amazing friends and family with whom I can be open about this, also attended therapy for a while, tried and did a lot of new things...
And I don't know why, nothing seems to work. It's just exhausting, to always feel like this while knowing that there is no way to get back together. There are ups and downs of course but not a single day ever passes where I don't think of her. This will sound very meme-ish but even in my dreams she shows up very often... sometimes they are so nice that I wake up wishing that I never had. I honestly, really, just want to be able to let it go. Not today, or tomorrow, but the idea of being still stuck 5, or 10 years from now is absolutely horrifying to me.
So I ask you, what can I do?
Submitted February 02, 2021 at 03:01AM by Kellsier https://ift.tt/3jduqwP
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