I feel guilty that I always seem to be upset with my boyfriend but I don't know how to stop. We've been together for two years. I don’t want to be upset with him obviously, but it seems like when he does something it just sets me off and I don’t know how to handle it. I’ve tried to ask my parents about taking me to therapy (to try to learn to handle and understand my emotions better), but I don’t know if they’re ever going to help me get into something. I have a life outside of my boyfriend, so it’s not like I’m worrying about him constantly. I like to be alone and do my own thing.
Yesterday I was having a pretty bad day, and I texted him about it some on and off while he was at work. I was stressed and felt really lonely. Later he messages me saying he had the most fun he’s ever had outside playing in the snow, going into detail about what all he did with his family. I had just been talking about how I wanted to go out in it (we live in the south so we literally never get snow and it’s exciting) and felt disappointed that I didn’t have anyone to go do anything with. I’ve basically been at home by myself for an entire week due to the weather.
I know I should’ve been happy for him, but I wasn’t. Once I read the text I just started crying because it made me feel sad and I told him I wanted to be left alone. I just sat feeling weird and confused and disgusted because I felt like such a bad girlfriend, but I didn’t know how to not feel that way. I feel like I can never tell whether or not how I’m feeling is rational.
I think another part of things is that I’m just tired. I’m getting tired of all I’m still having to put up with in our relationship regarding his mom, because it’s a really big deal to me. His mom controls his entire life and it really, really irks me. It’s been two years and he still asks her if he’s allowed to go out. Having a relationship that’s almost all been according to what mom says has been hard. Honestly, while being with him I have never cried as much or been as upset in my life, but I never showed as much emotion before. I think the good outnumbers the bad, but the bad is rough.
Why do I act like this, I guess? And how can I stop? Would getting into some kind of therapy or counseling help this? I really want to be better for myself and him. I’m not proud of how I act.
Tl;dr I get upset at my boyfriend a lot but I don’t know how to stop
Submitted February 17, 2021 at 03:04PM by throw-awayjumpy https://ift.tt/37oPGuO
No comments:
Post a Comment