TL;DR is basically the title which I will explain throughout this post. My friend has been manifesting much of this behaviour for about a year now and it leaves me scratching my head. We are both postgrad male uni students aged 21 and have been friends for seven years.
They always seem to want to ‘one up’ me. For example, we both have a film/book hobby; we discuss films and books together. They seem to get a lot of pleasure out of seeing films and having read books that I haven’t; they get a slight superiority complex over it and they sometimes even laugh and boast that I am still yet to read/watch it. Is this healthy competition or are they insecure?
They’re much different around me than they are when others are in the room. They are very down to Earth, genuine, and have intellectual conversation with me and treat me very well when it just me and them, yet when others come into the equation they seem to think they have greater status than me, often mocking me/degrading me, and very often speaking in a patronising tone towards me. They seem to act much more like an adult when it is just me and them; yet when others are present they become much more childish/toxic.
I feel much more confident and comfortable around them when it is just me and them, when others are there I don’t think I can express myself how I would like to. I sometimes even dread spending time with them when others are there because I know their behaviour/attitude will become more toxic.
They seem to prefer doing the talking and me doing the listening, which is fine because I prefer listening (I can learn much more and see things in a different perspective) but I often feel I can’t say the things I would like because they would interject with their thoughts or often be quite dissociative before chiming in with their thoughts.
They seem to quite often get pleasure from calling people ‘stupid’ or ‘thick’. Also quite materialistic with social media and their follower count.
My gut constantly tells me they feel quite insecure around me, and they want to outwit me as a person to combat this insecurity complex, but then I repeatedly wonder if I am a narcissist for thinking that, and narcissism is clouding/obscuring my perceptions. Does anybody have any ideas?
Submitted February 07, 2021 at 06:01AM by PolicyWide https://ift.tt/2MBJDfC
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