I am white and my SO is black and we had a baby about 8 months ago and he is doubting the paternity of the baby because of the skin tone and appearance are "too white". We have been in a relationship for 2 years but only married 11 months.
So I will start off by saying that we were just dating when I unexpectedly got pregnant by my now husband. He was completely supportive at first and we got engaged and eventually married as a result. So fast forward to the birth of the baby and if you didn't know biracial babies sometimes come out looking much lighter and get darker over time. But somehow my baby came out with dirty blond hair and very pale looking. Although he has gotten a little bit darker with time, I must admit that he does not really look biracial at all and so it has become a big issue for his father. Although he played kind in the hospital he almost REFUSED to sign the birth certificate until we got a paternity test which really really hurt me because this was not based on anything (as far as I know) other than the skin tone of the baby. The hospital staff came around 4 times to ask if he had made a decision about the birth certificate and it was embarrassing for me.
I initially rejected his request for a paternity test because I always thought this is something that trashy women had to worry about and it was a blow to my ego. However, this resulted in my husband growing increasingly distant toward me and his son. Later, I found out my brother in law had been spreading doubts to him and insulting me the entire time. I suggested things like maybe he had a white person in his family tree he did not know about, and other things like this and this seemed to work at first. My brother in law insinuated that I had implied his great grandmother had been violated as a slave. The other week my husband blew up on me and basically accused me of cheating straight to my face and I decided to take our son and go to a hotel because I was scared (he has never been violent to me in any way but something like this may cause violence and I just want to be safe). Unfortunately I am a bit spoiled by him because he is successful so I do not have a job or anything right now and I had to open a new credit card because he took his card back from me before I left. I obviously met with him to get a paternity test for our child and expect the results soon, but some of the things he and his friends have been posting and saying on social media are really offensive and I don't know if I want him back. For instance, his brother posted "white women have been lying to black men for the last 300 years and all the sudden they are mad because we can do something about it" and he decided to "like" this post. A lot of what they posted has themes about white women being terrible people and such and it is really getting under my skin to the point where I don't know if I can forgive him. Some other posts have to do with me being a gold digger, because I am financially dependent on him. I understand a lot of historical issues between white people and black people but that should not apply to your personal relationships right? What do you all think I should do? Should I ask him to cut contact with BIL because BIL clearly doesn't like white women?
TL;DR Husband doesn't think son is his because son looks too white and he has treated me bad because of it.
Submitted February 09, 2021 at 04:38PM by RunLikeARiver18 https://ift.tt/3rDaAy7
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