Merry Christmas guys, although it has not been too merry in my house today.
I work fulltime while my SO stays at home and takes of the house, cooking, cleaning and pets etc. She does a great job and since I use to make enough money it wasn't an issue at all. We live quite comfortably.
Until COVID. My company salary was cut to 40% and my side business has slowly been dying down as well. Just last week I got some more bad news that puts me at about 25% of what I used to make. From January we will be cutting into our savings (thankfully I have been able to save a good amount over the years that will last us for a while). The last few months I have been extremely stressed and anxious, running around trying to find new ways of income. My SO knows of the current financial situation and is involved in the budgeting etc.
We did not specifically talk or discuss about if we were doing Christmas gifts this year, but I completely assumed that were NOT going to be getting any, from all the serious talks on finances we have almost weekly and about how we need to cut back on all the extra stuff.
But from about a week leading up to Christmas, she began dropping hints about different things she wants and making comments like "I wonder what so-and-so is getting for Xmas" and "that $500 designer bag would be a perfect Xmas gift for 'someone'." etc. I began noticing it more and more as she would half-jokingly say things like that a few times and it began to annoy me little by little. Here I was stressing about money every day, running around town looking for new ways to make money and she wants a designer bag that she will probably use once or twice? I usually replied with a wry smile and said nothing. I realize now that I should have discussed this issue with her earlier.
So Christmas morning came and she was visibly unhappy about not receiving anything. She was making similar passive aggressive comments "I bet so-and-so got a real nice gift this morning when she got our of bed" every 15 minutes and I finally had enough. I sort of blew up (around a 6 or 7 from a scale of 1-10) and told her that she was being extremely selfish and insensitive to how I felt every day. She didn't really say much other than that I could have gotten her something inexpensive (which is not what she was saying until now) and finally "fine" after which she just left the room.
I left home to come to work but am still extremely upset. We also had a nice Christmas dinner planned at home once I got back but am really dreading how its going to be now.
Thanks for letting me vent and let me know if you have any advice.
TL;DR: Going through financially rough times. SO expected a gift when I thought it was clear we weren't doing any and we had a fight Xmas morning.
Submitted December 24, 2020 at 08:09PM by TalktomeaboutZippos https://ift.tt/3hlX1z9
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