Hey guys, to start off I (22m)have been with my gf (21f) since mid march, officially since May of this year.
When I met her in March, we just hit it off better than I have ever experienced. The sex was good (still is) our connection was obvious. The problem is while I had been single for over 2 years when I met her, she was just coming out of a very abusive long term relationship of 3.5 years. The guy hit her, abused her mentally and verbally, cheated multiple times, and was just overall a horrible human being. The effects of this were obvious as she still carries some toxic traits from this relationship, but in my eyes they are temporary and have already began to dissolve themselves.
In august, I found out that she was still talking to her ex through a texting app and making phone calls to him, claiming she still loved him and missed him, numerous text messages to her friends belittling me and talking about wanting to fuck other guys. This was while we were official, but very early in the relationship. I confronted her, almost left, and she broke down and told me what i thought was the raw truth, and how in love she is with me but feels she doesn’t deserve me because i treat her better than any guy ever has. I was willing to let this go and give one chance for her to prove herself, as I understand she was very fresh out of a relationship, while i had over 2 years to move on.
Fast forward to today, December, and our relationship has been nothing short of amazing. Or at least I thought so. Long story short, in the very beginning, she told me she had not been with her ex physically since November of 2019. That she had not had any sexual interaction with him since then, and any other guy since she started dating him over 3 years ago. I KNOW THIS IS WRONG, however I found an old phone she has in her drawer while looking for the remote while she was at work, and went to her messages, (she keeps every message thread since like 2015) searched keywords of her ex name. I found conversations of her with her ex, and she was in fact still seeing him and hooking up with him in march, while me and her were seeing each other. There were also graphic texts of her hooking up with numerous guys during that november-march period, while she was supposedly in a relationship with her ex. The problem is not her “body count” or who all she has been with, as it is before me and i have no right to be angry about that. Hell, i have a high body count myself. The problem I am running into is while I have been open and completely honest since day 1, she has lied compulsively about this stuff, so it feels as if now I don’t really know the girl I love. She also had abortion last year apparently, and in the texts her ex was saying that “he couldn’t believe he paid for her abortion and it turned out to be another guy”.
So these are all concerning issues to me, because although they relate to her past for the most part, she has lied completely to me, and the problem is she can do so while looking me in the eyes, swearing on our relationship and everyone she loves grave, and just completely lie about it.
She has also said repeatedly that she NEVER cheats in a relationship, but from what I found out it appears she has extensively?
This is only a red flag to me because it is indicative of her behavior and character and how she handles a relationship.
Lastly, I am so conflicted, because everything is going amazing right now in our relationship, it’s christmas time, we are going out of town after christmas together, but I know if i do not confront this, it will eat at me every day. Am I overeacting, or do i have legitimate concerns? Any help is deeply appreciated, thanks in advance!
TL;DR - Gf has been lying compulsively about her past and relationship with her ex, not sure what i should do
Submitted December 24, 2020 at 11:37AM by KingCvleb https://ift.tt/2WKeojH
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