GF-Aussie (24) and myself BF- Canadian (23) have been in a LD relationship 1 year, and have been living together happily 2 years plus. However, my mental health has been getting worse living abroad for so long, and I feel directionless outside of my relationship.

**TL;DR; : GF (Aussie) and myself (Canadian) closed the distance in our LDR, been living happily for 2 years together, except, not so happily as of late. Outside of our relationship, I've become increasingly depressed because of my direction in life/career. Our immediate relationship is totally fine, but this is becoming an issue.**.

I realize this is a complicated, I don't expect anyone who takes it upon them self to reply to answer everything. Maybe just some basic wisdom. Thank you in advance for the patient person who decides to read all of this.

I'd like to preface this by saying that, I have a very strong relationship with my partner of nearly 4 years.

I moved over to Australia in 2018 and have been here since. We live here comfortably. However, my mental health has progressively gotten worse over the last year. Without getting into too long of a story, basically, I feel directionless in terms of career and outside socialization. The relationship I have is perhaps the most solid aspect of my life, the other things are really the strongest burden.

The issue we're facing is that I'd very much would like to study. Before moving across the world to live with my GF I forwent entry into the army because I knew it would kill our relationship, and my girlfriend wasn't in a position to leave Australia because she was still working towards a degree. Its been two years since, and she has finished her degree, and I havent been able to start working towards my goals.
School here, is difficult for me, because I do not get the same kind of entitlements a citizen would, to help fund it. However in Canada, that would be a different story. However it would involve a move and that would perhaps commit us there for a while.
My girlfriend, not fond of her degree, is still pursuing other things to allow her to be more mobile, and work from anywhere she wants, but she is uncertain about how to get there, shes currently enrolled in graphic design courses online.

Why my mental health is perhaps so bad is because, I feel like, relationship aside, I'm squandering time. I feel stagnated and stuck in a entry level job i don't really care for (I'm a Security Guard at a ragedy pub, not the worst job at all, still though.) My girlfriend is quite isolated from any friends or family. Family that she has a complicated and rocky relationship with, friends, that are very scarce. She is quite introverted in that sense. Thus, I don't really have any sort of friends, outside of work colleges or online friends that I occasionally (very rarely tbh) game with, sometimes with her. So I'm lacking any sort of immediate attachment here , Here lies the most significant dilemma I'm facing.

As considerate as my girlfriend is to possibly moving, she feels I'm basing my willingness to move back home (mind you, with her) on emotion. Its not primarily for my immediate benefit. As there is ways for me to go to school here, however its a question of narrowing my options for types of education, funding, and waiting until my visa is approved which could last more then a year. (Going home as an alternative, I'd need to live in my home city, and wait until I become deemed a resident, and then I can be eligible for funding. Anyway, basically going home to study doesnt necessarily mean I'd be skipping the wait.)

But a huge part of why I want to go back home, is because of how much I miss my family, and friends. Things that I am both lacking here. She understands this, and does not want to keep me from them, however, the lack of just friends I've been able to establish here, is making her worried that if we did go to Canada, there would be slim to no possibility of me wanting to come back.

Its a fair stance, and I'm not upset at her for this realization. But, I feel very conflicted, and utterly lost at what to do. I don't want her to feel like us moving to Canada is deadlocking us there, but at the sametime I miss mountain biking, my friends, the outdoors of Canada, and the many things/people I left behind when I decided to come here. Where as here, I lack any hobbies that involve the surrounding area, friend groups, or personal attachments outside of her. Not for a lack of trying, but I feel here lack of a social circle and my lack of being on a path i care for where I can meet people with things I have in common are big contributors. She kind of hinted she wished I volunteered or joined a kind of hobby, but I'm not the type of person to go take a Karate Class (something I was actually considering, although I joined a gym instead) and start handing out my phone number to see if people want to come over to play Smash bros or come to a BBQ. It takes time to form those sorts of things, and I've already been here for two years.

We've been talking this idea of mine more routinely now the last couple weeks, but she hit me with this today before I went work, and well yeah.

Whatever I do, I want her in my life, and she feels the same, but I need a change, because I'm becoming increasingly more depressed about this to the point where I'm finding it hard to enjoy downtime. Some days have been really bad recently.

Thanks for reading this. :)

Submitted December 03, 2020 at 07:03AM by mrdoubleyeww https://ift.tt/3oolruk