I wrote this a couple of weeks ago. original post
I am finally moved out. I just read over my initial post and a few other things actually happened since.
Soon after the drunk driving fiasco we were chilling one evening and I mentioned I'd pop into a friend during the week to see her after work. This is a girl I don't know a very long time but she texts me really frequently and he thought she had a thing for me. Well he didn't speak to me for the rest of the night and he made a wall of blankets between us in the bed. The following day I found out the reason was because I had expressed my irritation at the frequency of her texting before, I know this was my mistake I shouldn't have said anything to him (I can't stand spending hours texting), and then decided that I was just casually going to pop into her.
A morning soon after that I had a sex dream which didn't include him, it wasn't a particular person even, and I (again stupidly) told him, again he didn't speak to me for the rest of the day, and when I got home from work shit hit the fan and we pretty much had a shouting match because I had hurt his feelings and didn't take into consideration how he would feel if I shared that information with him and I have no filter. I am indeed overly honest, I pretty much say what's on my mind and at the beginning of our relationship he said he loved that about me.
The straw that broke the camel's back really was one evening when he picked me up from work late, (I should clarify we were living at his mum's over the pandemic until we found a place of our own). His mother's house is pretty far it's on the outskirts of the city, far from my job, I never wanted to go there really but I made the compromise until he would save up a deposit and rent so we can move into our place. I was working from home and wasn't expecting to get called back into work a couple of weeks ago so for 2 weeks I had to commute, but the last week I gave him money for petrol so he would drop me in and out as it halved the journey time. Anyway, this particular day, I told him I'd be working late but I failed to give a time as I work an office job which sometimes I just don't know when I'll finish, I have to stay until I finish the job. He was doing work on his mum's house and had to drop his cousin back into the city that evening so I just assumed once he was dropping the cousin back he would give me a call and see what the story was. I didn't make contact again from 4pm when I said I'd be working late and at 7.30 he rang me and I knew he was pissed. I told him I'd be another hour and a half and so he picked me up after dropping his cousin off and the whole car journey he didn't speak to me, blared music despite the fact he knew I'd been in the office for 12 hours that day and I had a splitting headache. The next morning he flat out told me 9 o'clock in the evening is too late for him to pick me up from work, I asked why and he said it just is, if I want to be picked up at that hour I need to let him know an exact time way in advance. Bare in mind the rest of the time that he had picked me up I had finished work at the normal time. He created an issue out of the lifts so I just said I'd make my own way home, which again aggravated him even more because now he was unhappy that I wouldn't accept the lift on his terms. I understand how it could have been annoying for him that I didn't give him an exact time but really all he had to do was send a simple text asking around what time do I think I'd be finished, I just didn't think as I was swept off my feet in work trying to meet this deadline. To me him saying that 9 o'clock is too Late and he needs to know way in advance an exact time comes across as controlling, especially as he's temporarily laid off work and is at home all day.
Anyway, to make a long story short, things just weren't the same between us after that, it upset me that despite me going to live all the way at his mums and giving him petrol money the one night I had to stay late because I had a deadline he created an issue out of.
I moved out 3 days later. The morning of the move he was texting me all sorts of things saying I'm cruel and throwing him to the side now that it suits me, that all I care about is myself and stuff like that. We eventually reached a civil agreement that it is for the best for the time being. The move was extremely hard, he was sobbing into my arms, saying he loves me and he never thought it would end. He said he's going to go back to counselling and sort himself out because if him being the way he is is going to be the cause of losing someone as good as me then he can't go on like this. My main reason for moving out is because I have finals in 7 weeks time and I need to focus on studying with no distraction, my career depends on it. He wants to know if we can revisit after my exams and see where we are then and talk and maybe try again.
I am now in the aftermath of the whole thing and I am heartbroken. All I'm remembering are the good times we had in the beginning. I can't stop seeing his face crying and it breaks my heart. I feel really guilty and I feel like I made him out to be an asshole. I'm not perfect and I know I grinded his gears also, but never intentionally and never expected to have the fights we did over the thing they were over. I feel like I made a mistake leaving him, he only really turned like that after we temporarily moved into his moms and he said being there is driving him insane.
Tl;dr I finally broke up with my boyfriend and I am devastated, I can't stop crying, I feel guilty.
Submitted July 01, 2020 at 07:43AM by Frankly785 https://ift.tt/2ZkJBuA
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