My girlfriend [23F] wants to experiment with women, I feel like I'm being forced to accept it and allow her to do it. [23M]

I specifically made an account on here to post this:

We've been together for almost 6 months, so the relationship is relatively new. Things have been going amazing, we love each other very much, and we've already talked about getting married and having a child in a couple years, give or take. She already has 2 girls, both under the age of 4, and I love them as if they were my own...

Just last night (June 30th, 2020, my 23rd birthday), we were video calling on Facebook messenger, and we got on the topic of her sexuality...Just a little background: She's bisexual. She has known for a while, but being raised in a conservative household in Indiana all her life, and just coming out of a 4 year abusive marriage, she has repressed that part of her for years, fearing that she wouldn't be accepted. She came out to everyone relatively recently. She has never tried anything sexual with another women, she has only made out with a few women in the club and one of her friends, while drunk, so to her that doesn't count. She is also too nervous to approach a woman to initiate any type of experimentation, so that's the main reason she has never done anything with a woman.

Back to the video call. We got on the subject of her bisexuality. She tells me that earlier that day, she had one of her kid's old babysitters flirting with her, and when she was telling me this, I felt insecure and jealous because even though she told her no and that she has a boyfriend, she still flirted back and was enabling the flirting. When she detected that I was upset, she mentioned to me that if she did something with another woman, as opposed to a man, it's not cheating because it's the same sex. She told me that she is sexually attracted to women, not emotionally. She then proceeded to ask me if I would be okay if she were to go and experiment with a woman, and I said no at first.

I told her my concerns in a big text message after we got off the call, and her response was to make it about her and to tell me how she feels hurt and she feels like I'm trying to suppress her sexuality. She took 0 time to actually understand where I was coming from, and she became upset that I didn't want to allow her to do this. Just the thought of anyone other than me touching her sexually makes me feel sick because she's my girlfriend, and I don't want to share her with anyone else. Am I wrong for feeling that way??? I asked her if I was wrong for being possessive, and she told me that I was wrong because it's women, not men. She feels disrespected that she feels she needs to "lock away" that part of her for me.

The discussion continued to the next day (July 1st, 2020), and I was getting nowhere with her, so I eventually just said whatever, I'll let you do it, but I still do not like it. I feel like I was pressured into changing my answer.

I feel like she's got me backed into a corner. Either I allow her to experiment with women and I stay unhappy, or she'll want to break up. She hasn't actually given me this ultimatum, but I feel like that's her thoughts right now. I don't know what to do or tell her to possibly change her mind. I'm afraid that either way this goes, resentment will build between the two of us and the relationship will end. I love her very much and I don't want to lose her, but it seems like she already made up her mind without even considering how I feel. It's not fair at all.

I support her being bisexual 100%, and I respect her as a person and I respect our relationship. However, I believe that regardless of gender or sexual orientation, if you go outside of your relationship willingly without your SO's permission, and have any sexual or romantic relationship with a person other than your actual SO, that's 100% cheating. She feels that as long as you aren't having a sexual or romantic relationship with a person of the opposite sex outside of your actual relationship, you aren't cheating. She told me that if I was bisexual, she would be okay with me going and experimenting with men. I'm heterosexual, so I feel that argument is invalid because it doesn't apply to our specific situation.

I don't know if I left anything out, but if I remember more details, I will make another post.

TL/DR: Bisexual girlfriend wants to experiment with women. Boyfriend doesn't like it. Girlfriend doesn't seem to care what he thinks. Help me.

Please help, I don't know what to do. Sorry about the long post, but this has been bothering the hell out of me and I need outside opinions. Please take the time to read everything.

Submitted July 01, 2020 at 01:15PM by Consistent-Yak4956 https://ift.tt/2VDmoCT