I feel complicated but I also feel free. I admit that I still have feelings for my bf (27m) but I know I need to leave. I guess I am trying to make sure that I will do that by typing all of this down.
My bf whom was my ex-fiancé, repeatedly cheated on my with different women. They were all emotional cheating. I had spent months questioning myself because he would say the other woman was hot. And he also told me to not tell my family because “it will poison the well”.
Things have gotten so toxic to the point that every night, I would just have nightmares where he was cheating again.
I know I’m the person who stayed with him, and I’m ashamed of myself. Some people might say I deserve this because I chose to stay. He is the first real relationship for me, where we talked about family, children and future. I was very attached to him and I just felt so ashamed thinking that every time I walked back when he cheated.
I know I have a future. And I’m trying to get back on my feet. I just packed my first box of stuffs, and I am waiting for the response from the leasing office. I emailed them that I wanted to move out. It’s been 1.5 years of constant lying and manipulation. I’ve always thought we could “fix” this, but it just ate me alive. I felt so hurt. Please wish me strength. Thank you. I hope all of you have a great weekend.
TL;DR: just packed my first box of stuffs after 1.5 years of toxic relationship. I really hope I don’t walk back.
Submitted July 04, 2020 at 10:05PM by throwRA_0827 https://ift.tt/2VNYQeD
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