TL;DR: I've been married for about three years, but my spouse is starting to feel like more of a teenager than a partner. We've tried counseling, but It's not working. I am falling out of love and am terrified we're headed for a divorce between grad school, feeling unloved, and work.
For background, My husband and I have been married for about three years now. When we got married I was finishing up my undergrad and now I am finishing a graduate degree and prepping for the CPA (CA has a 150 credit hour requirement). In both instances, I have been working full time in finance (accounting in the private sector now). He tends to be somewhat self-absorbed (not purposefully I don't think) and we have attended counseling for this in the past.
Lately, however, I feel like the list of things I do for us, school and my Job are just absolutely killing me emotionally and mentally. I clean our apartment every Wednesday, with a deep clean on the weekends (dishes, laundry, mopping, etc.) I have asked him in the past to help but gave up. He will do his chore halfway to rush to getting online for video games. He leaves dishes in the sink for me to clean when I have asked him at the very least to please rinse them so it's easier. He's so loud on the game that I can hear hi through earplugs when I am trying to study. I have been letting this stuff go since I was told by my family to "choose my battles" when it comes to being married.
However, recently two things rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not sure if I'm being crazy and overreading or what's going on at this point. When I asked him to manage his spending (were trying to save for a house in SoCal) on video games, take out and gaming equipment the tables we're turned on me and I was told that I spend too much on my Acne medication (for context I buy about $90 worth of skincare every 60 days because I have always struggled with cystic acne). I felt like this was a want vs need situation and he wanted to get what he wanted without having to sacrifice. I was hurt, but I laughed it off with him later.
The second situation was our house. I am struggling to get everything to get our DTI where it needs to be. That being said I fell short on covering my grad degree out of pocket, so I had to explore financing options. I was mortified and bawling my eyes out since I felt selfish for doing so. I was told to quit grad school to allow us to get a house faster. That hurt, and we addressed it. But the motivation behind it has been bothering me the last few days. I feel like I have a kid who feels entitled to things, but I know this has to be my fault for creating the monster too. But at the same time, I am so angry, and I am falling out of love. I don't know what to do. We've tried counseling and we've tried talking things out, but I don't know what to do at this point. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks so much!!
Submitted July 25, 2020 at 01:17PM by huehuehue94 https://ift.tt/2ZZQUtm
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