Here's my first post https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/gpzn08/my_m21_girlfriend_f_30_constantly_makes_me_feel/
Thanks to the people who responded to my post. I can safely say that you were all right and I apologize for being so defensive of my girlfriend, now ex, and for being hard headed in my replies to you all.
I looked into another subreddit for people in relationships with narcissists, and the people there echoed what you all told me. My relationship was abusive from the start. It has been hard to wrap my head around that because I definitly wanted her when I met her, but I was 17. I can accept that what she did was inappropriate. She got me away from my abusive family, but that does not change that she has treated me terribly and just been manipulative.
I still was not going to for sure leave her. I wanted to talk to hear about it all. I brought my feelings up with her and she lost it on me. I've never really seen her so angry. She yelled at me for reaching out to strangers online for advice about our relationship. She said that it was a betrayal. She insulted me a bunch, much more than she usually does. I was told that if I left that I wouldnt make it. She said that no women would be satisfied with me in bed and that I've been a disappointment sexually since we met (when I was 17) and that I brought nothing worthwhile physically.
This was seriously strange to me. As mean as she could sometimes be, she has never just freaked out and screamed like this.
I told her that I didn't want to leave her but that I just wanted to be able to do things that I enjoyed and not be talked to like I was stupid. She of course told me that I was stupid and that other people would just lie to me.
This is when I did something that I'm actually proud of myself for. I called the only friend I have nearby, and I asked if I could stay the night there. I was not going to let her beat me down like that. This friend has never been too fond of her because he says she always treated me badly. I called her the next day and she jumped between begging me to come back and insulting me. She threatened to tell people "how badly I treated her." I've never yelled at her. I've never gotten aggressive with her, so she is just going to lie to people now.
My friend then offered to let me stay with him for a while until I can get a bit secure.
I've been back to her place only once to get most of my things, and again she went back and fourth from being overly sweet, insulting me, and out right threatening me before slapping me when I told her that she was being crazy. I have a few more things at her place, but I really don't want to see her again, so I'm considering just calling that a loss. At least I'm away from her.
I say all of that and still miss her. Dumb. Yeah. I feel like I lost what could have been good years by being with her, but I know that she also helped me out a lot. I don't know how to feel, but I know I'm better away from her.
Thanks again for your encouragement and for making me see what she was doing to me.
TL;dr: I left my gf after she got increasingly mean and seemingly dangerous. I'm currently staying with a friend, and I have no intention of seeing her again.
Submitted June 01, 2020 at 02:33PM by 1tthhrroowwaawwaayy2 https://ift.tt/2XUIqBo
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