My parents have always been distant and I have to do all the emotional work in our relationship (carrying conversation, reaching out to people, being the peace maker) my sister who is 25 started a group chat to bring up how she felt like they were not invested her well being and she doesn't feel like they care about her.
My fathers response was to right off the bat ignore everything my sister said and instead claim I'm the one I'm the one whos being emotionally distant. Up until this point I had not been involved in the argument so I was caught off guard by this. I responded by defending myself and listing the many things I do for him despite the fact that he was physically abusive to us and my mom.
In his next response he basically had an excuse ready for how everything I do isn't good enough and then switched into how they "won't expect me to do anything since I don't love them" and how they hope I make better choices with my family. I did not say anything about not loving them or wanting to end our relationship Threatening to leave or saying the equivalent of "if you don't like it theres the door" is a standard tactic of his whenever someone actually stands up to him and usually gets me to apologize even if I was right and try to bring back the relationship to normal.
I was so shocked at how quickly and unprompted he went to threatening to end the relationship that I decided I would take him up on it and just stop talking. I didn't hear anything from him for over two weeks but then he started texting like nothing had happened and expecting me to act the same. I've been continuing to ignore him and now I'm seeing all these passive aggressive social media post from my mom about all the hidden pain fathers feel but cannot share. He hasn't acknowledge anything he said or that we had a fight and has essentially just decided to ignore everything. I don't think he expected me to actually walk away and now seems to regret it but won't apologize or even acknowledge what he said.
Am I wrong to keep ignoring him? I'm so tired of how nothing I do is ever good enough and I'm tired of this dynamic where he gets to do and say whatever he wants and everyone must go along with it or he threatens to cut them off.
tl;dr: Father in not so many words once again threatened to disown me and now that I've stopped talking to him he seems to regret it but won't actually apologize or acknowledge what he said. Am I in the wrong to keep ignoring him or should I give him another chance and go back to carrying all the emotional weight in our relationship while being unappreciated?
Submitted June 24, 2020 at 11:27AM by bluethunder6969 https://ift.tt/2ViwRnk
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