I’ve been on this sub a little while now but wasn’t sure how to word this. With that in mind, I apologize if this post is all over the place. I would also like to stay with him, so please don’t jump to leaving him.
The best way to describe my boyfriend is immature and a momma’s boy. His mother is extremely controlling and won’t let her “precious baby” venture out on his own. For example, he doesn’t seem to have many personal beliefs that aren’t mirrored to his mothers. She convinced a doctor that vaccinations were evil, and he believes it, as does her son.
I have had numerous problems with his mother being very intrusive into my personal life and asking me silly questions such as, “I know your parents are divorced, are you trying to get them back together? Tell me why the split up.” This was less than two months into dating. I told her I was uncomfortable and she kept pushing until I walked away from the conversation.
It has now been a year and a half of us dating, and not much has changed. The reason for this post was a trip that I planned for our month anniversary. I plan a lot, and it’s very important to me to have a plan and a few backup plans. So I planned the ins and outs of this trip, and possible weather changes or anything. I was given permission to go, since it’s a little bit of a drive away. However, his mom and dad denied, and instead offered to go with us and rent out a beach house. This sounds like a nice offer, until she realized that I wasn’t allowed to go unless It was with him. So she changed the dates to a few days later, which means it’ll rain the entire time we’re there. I also planned the trip around my cycle, which now falls on the days that his mother moved the trip to instead of the previous days.
My boyfriend was VERY against not being able to go alone, as was I. However, he has now completely changed his views and is telling me I’m selfish and being ungrateful for not wanting to stay with his parents. Since I have already come up with a ton of plans for the trip, it’s annoying that they all have to change for around the 3rd time in a week. I told him I would rather stop stressing about it and let him plan it, and he kept being rude and trying to rationalize why I should be very very grateful that his parents and that I was acting like a brat.
Whenever I try to communicate and let him know how I’m feeling and why I’m actually upset about the trip, he shuts me down and tells me things that don’t make sense and don’t really solve anything, and then say “I solved it, you should be happy now.” He can’t seem to fathom that he and I are not the same and have different thought processes.
I have a feeling that most of this relationship is going to be a waiting game until he gets out of the house and away from his mother. However, I’ve already waited a very long time. Any advice is appreciated, and thank you for taking the time to read.
TLDR; My boyfriend and I planned a trip, and his mom is being controlling. He doesn’t seem to understand why I’m unhappy even though I’ve communicated it very clearly.
Submitted June 05, 2020 at 07:29AM by chalkwick https://ift.tt/3dBtWxd
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