So, my boyfriend's always been a pretty big health nut. Everything needs to be organic, grassfed, ect. I'm a pretty lean/healthy person, I love to run, make sure to eat enough vegetables and fruit every day, and don't eat fast food. That being said, I like to bake occasionally and tend to graze throughout the day. (Stuff like cheddar popcorn, whole grain crackers, cereal, ect.) We've butted heads in the past, but it's never been too bad.
Ever since the coronavirus started, my stress levels have slowly been rising. I have had eating issues in the past, and recently got over a stomach infection that caused me to not be able to consume much if any food. When I get stressed, I tend to reach for sweet and salty foods but don't tend to overindulge, just eat small amounts over a prolonged period. Since I lost quite a bit of weight, my hunger levels have risen because my body had been deprived.
However, because of the virus, we're both working from home. We live in a tiny condo, and the living room and kitchen are basically in the same room/I'm never really alone. He can see everything that I grab from the kitchen, and either makes a comment or gives me a judging look. It's made me paranoid, and taken the satisfaction out of the snacks that I eat. This lack of satisfaction and need to hide food from him has actually made the problem worse. The more he gets upset, the more I want to snack. Whereas before, I just ate without judging myself and was satisfied so did not feel the need to continue snacking. I just want to be able to eat my homemade cupcakes in peace.
I got upset at him about it today. He says he does it because he cares about my health. Before I wasn't "eating enough", now I'm eating "too much". I'm not so sure it's about caring as much as it is about control.
What do you think of it all?
TL;DR: Boyfriend food policing me. Starting to affect my self worth and sense of autonomy as an adult. I can't even pick out food at the grocery store without being worried about him getting upset.
Submitted April 04, 2020 at 05:18PM by relativelyrelative1 https://ift.tt/3bXGPjX
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