He has never gone to the doctor or dentist or therapist without my prompting. Before we dated he hadn’t gone to the dentist in years, literally it took me nagging him and finally sitting down and helping him find one nearby that took his insurance (5 minutes if that), when he got his checkup they found seven cavities, and he still hasn’t scheduled the fillings. I supported him to see a psychiatrist, and therapist, the therapist wasn’t a good fit - that’s ok, we will keep looking - he’s diagnosed with depression, I understand it makes these tasks much harder, but.
I feel like I care more about his health than he does. He has admitted that he would’ve been “fine” with not doing anything and basically slowly dying. Obviously that is the depression talking but it makes me feel hopeless too. He has said he feels better on the meds but he hasn’t been any better with scheduling health related stuff.
I’m tempted to send him this: “I love you and I care about you but I feel helpless and like a nag for just wanting you to take care of your beautiful brain’s meat vehicle. I can’t handle a lifetime of having to ask you to make your own appointments but I also can’t handle watching your health fail in completely preventable ways when you’re older. I need you to just show me you’re taking care of yourself. Maintenance NEVER ends but that doesn’t make it pointless. I love you. But I’m not going to bring up medical stuff again unless you ask me to, at which point I’ll gladly help you look for a new provider or something, but it’s still YOUR responsibility.”
Is this too harsh? Selfishly, I don’t want him to die a slow preventable death when we’re together, so if he’s determined to do that I’d rather not entangle our fortunes.
tl;dr bf won’t take care of his own health and I won’t do it for him. I love him and want him to take responsibility.
Submitted February 05, 2020 at 11:50AM by v--- https://ift.tt/2uoREuZ
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