Does my [32F] SO [38M] need to know my friend [26M] used to be a FWB?

TL;DR: Is telling my [32F] boyfriend [38M] of five months that my climbing partner/friend [26M] used to be a FWB going to do more harm than good?

• Edited because I fucked up the TLDR.

Hi Reddit, my friends are split on this so I’m turning to the masses for help.

“James” and I have been dating for five months. Neither of us had been in a relationship of any serious significance for the past 8-10 years. Our relationship is awesome. He is awesome. James is funny and kind and attractive and one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met. He’s fit into my life like this puzzle piece I never knew was missing and it’s moving fast (talking marriage sometime in 2020). I love that we have a partnership and we value things like honesty and open communication.

Here’s the thing, James has been hurt very badly by infidelity in past relationships, so he can be sensitive about ex-boyfriends/guys I’ve dated. Which is why I would really like to not fuck this up. I don’t want this to be the thing that could have been a non-argument if I only brought it up X years ago.

Before I met James, I was hanging out with “Oliver.” Oliver and I met at our climbing gym but also found out we worked for the same company (obv not in any close capacity, it was a huge 1000+ employee company). Our relationship can be described as climbing buddies who sometimes also slept together. There was never any emotional intimacy. We wanted very different things, so climbing and sex is what worked for us.

Fast forward to now, Oliver and I still work at the same company (different company, but smaller) and I am with James. There was never any overlap between the two (read: I have not cheated on James). I still climb with Oliver, albeit not as frequently.

I typically abide by “what’s in the past is in the past” when it comes to previous sexual partners. I also have NO problem talking to him about this. I have nothing to hide. But considering James and I value open communication and honesty...would it do more harm than good?

I’ve never cheated on James, never even thought of it. I don’t want this to blow up years later when I can have the conversation now. So, should I have the conversation now? Or nah?

Submitted September 24, 2019 at 08:33PM by rhombus_head https://ift.tt/2mF6Fob