As my title says my 70 year old mother is starting to show signs of dementia. She knows it and is afraid of it so that makes the symptoms worse.
She has an appointment with a neurologist in June, so I’m assuming that it will be confirmed and some sort of plan figured out in terms of therapies and medication.
Some things I have noticed is a loss of muscle memory (forgetting things like salting pasta water, things that she shouldn’t even have to think about anymore that are done sort of automatically), frequent bouts of crying, unsteadiness on her feet, a weird, personal chattiness with strangers out in public, a burgeoning loss of filter while out in public, being easily overwhelmed, “losing her words”, anxiety, etc.
Today I was going to take her to the local garden shop to buy our flowers, something we have done every year for years and years. When we got there I quickly found what I was looking for, but my mother was unable to make any sort of decision. She decided she wanted “teal” flowers, and asked a lady working there if they had anything. The lady said they didn’t, and my mom started to cry. The lady was very good, didn’t act shocked, just took my mom by the arm and led her over to some bluish/purple flowers and really talked them up. My mom followed along behind her like a child. Then, later, she said she wanted some orange flowers so I suggested impatiens. These are a type of flower that she has a lot of experience with as she has planted them every year for 30+ years. But she had forgotten that and started asking me all sorts of questions about them. I said, “mom! You’ve planted these every year for 3 decades!” And she looked confused, said “oh that’s right”, and started to cry again. She was also extremely and loudly rude to someone whose cart was in her way.
Another time my sister and I made plans to meet her at a local cafe for lunch. We had arranged to meet at 11:00 and it was 11:05 when we pulled in. My mom was standing out in the rain outside of the cafe crying. I went running up to her thinking something was wrong and she sobbed “I thought you forgot about me!”
Sometimes she seems fine, but it’s getting worse fast.
The problem is that she looks young for a 70 year old, and people aren’t going to understand and give her grace out in public. They are going to expect her to follow social norms and it’s getting to the point that I am nervous going out with her.
She is also extremely sensitive to this, extremely. I’m afraid to say anything. She gets upset and sometimes a little mean.
How do I help her? How do I handle this? I need tools. My heart is bleeding over this- my mother was the most capable, bold, confident woman you can imagine, and now she is a shell and it breaks my heart.
Tl:Dr: Mom showing signs of dementia, how do I help her?
Submitted May 24, 2019 at 09:19PM by Momof3dragons2012 http://bit.ly/2YNcJsI
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