We have been together for 1.5 years. Since the beginning she has known about my health issues. I have always been completely open and honest about it. I had severe anxiety in the past and have a sleeping disorder. It’s going better now, but I still have a lot of things to work on. For starters, I experience (sometimes extreme) fatigue every day. What this means is that I am limited in what I can do. I do push myself a lot, but it takes it’s toll on me if I’m not careful.
My girlfriend has lived abroad for the passed five months and I have visited her five times, next week will be the sixth. She has said she has difficulties with my health and not being able to do everything she would want to do with me. I understand that and also would want to do much more. I am working a lot on it, visiting different physicians and doing therapy. Today my girlfriend told me she wants me to be energetically happy when I’m with her, because it makes her feel better (she says she needs someone like that around her). I always have a good, though calm, mood, but it’s rare for me to be energetic. Even if I wanted to, I can’t. She thinks I can do much more.
I feel under appreciated. I don’t want to victimize myself, because I certainly am not one, but I push myself a lot to be able to do as much as possible with her. I travel each month to visit her, never let her pay anything, I cook most of the times, try to do nice small things, I have all the patience in the world to talk to her about her insecurities and other things. But it’s not enough. On one hand she says she can’t lose me, but the other she says she can’t handle what I have. This results in almost daily stress. When I tell her that, if it’s the case she cannot deal with how I am at this moment and my life, we are not compatible, she gets upset. She says she is asking a very ‘normal’ thing of me, anybody would want that. It ends up being a constant reminder that I am not well enough.
I know she means well and she is visibly troubled by all of this, but I can’t give more than I am giving and it is stressing me out a lot.
tl;dr: my (28m) gf (22f) of 1.5 years wants me to do be energized happy when I am with her, even though I have chronic fatigue and am already pushing myself as much as I can
Submitted May 25, 2019 at 10:34AM by bagsofhope http://bit.ly/2YMM675
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