My marriage has devolved into name only, we are both seeing other people, and my boyfriend wants me to move in with him. What do I do?

I’ve written out this post a million times, one iteration was over 3,000 words long. So, I’m going to keep this as brief as I can make it.

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I've been with my husband for just over 5 years. I'm 26F and he is 26M.

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I love my husband dearly, he’s like my best friend and despite our failing marriage I would like to keep it that way. We don’t work together for a lot of reasons; I’m not going into it just for the sake of length. If anyone wants more info, I would be happy to share. We love each other, I just feel like he doesn’t know how to prioritize our relationship. He says he loves me too and he wants to work it out but I just don’t believe him. To be clear, I don’t mind him dating other people, I firmly believe that one person can’t be everything you need. But he doesn’t know how to juggle relationships and ours failed in response.

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My boyfriend’s lease is up and he wants to move in together. It sounds wonderful and I feel like after an adjustment period I would be a lot less lonely and sad with his presence and support. My lease is not up and my husband and his boyfriend (long story) wouldn’t be able to afford rent on their own. They would have to either work more days or get a roommate.

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I feel a responsibility to sticking out this lease but as you can imagine, it’s hard to live with them. I feel like the home I built with my husband is no longer mine and I’m their roommate.

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I’m heartbroken that it’s come to this, I can’t stop crying over everything I feel I’ve lost. The thought of leaving hurts my heart. We agreed to stay friends as we love each other very much but I know if I leave the emotional burden to maintain any kind of friendship will be on me, as it’s always been. I’m scared and sad and hurting. We’ve been together for so long I don’t know what I would be without him. He’s my best friend, no one knows me better.

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TL;DR So, would I be the asshole to just leave? Give up my security deposit and make them figure it out? What would be better? I just feel like I don’t know myself anymore so I’m asking strangers on the internet for blunt guidance.

Edit: crying and typing causes typos

Submitted April 30, 2019 at 08:04PM by ActualSquid http://bit.ly/2DCeBfx