...I know it's a dramatic title but it's true honestly.
My parents both have very high stress white collar jobs and they each work 80+ hours away every week from the house. There are days where I go to school and never see them because they both come home too late and leave to early for me to see them. This has been the case my whole life. I have basically been raised by a few nannys who drived me to school and back, cooked for me (and taught me how to cook), and all that. We don't talk really and when we do its short, very "thats nice go away i'm tired and busy" kind of.
This was all very normal in my life and i really didn't realize it was wrong until several months ago. I was reading this book blog called worm which (don't make fun of me ) is about a teenage girl who gets superpowers so i could relate to it a bit. She only has a dad in it but i remember just reading the conversations they had with each other and thinking how dumb and unrealistic there relationship was. Like they get along and talk and he tries to figure out whats wrong when she gets bullied and he gets mad on her behalf. They hug, I thought "wow that's dumb that's not how it happens". I had this snap moment where i realized how terrible my view on that was, that i was wrong not the book, that that was normal. i asked some people in my school, everybody i know hugs their parents still, girls especially. I have not hugged my parents in years, everybody talks to their parents.
My parents fired my last nanny when i started HS because it was close and I can walk there and I know how to cook and all that now so theres no point. And she was nicer to me and gave more shit about me than my parents. I still talk to her once a week on the phone even though she doesn't work for us anymore and i realized she knows more about me than my parents do. Neither one of them know the name of my school, my teachers, anything. They don't care. The last time we spent longer than ten minutes together in person was in july. I worked really hard on losing weight this year and I did and I'm skinny now and neither of them said a word until i brought it up. I'm not imagining that the scale went down a lot. people I never talked to in school and teachers and the security guard lady gave me compliments before my parents did.
They love work, they both say that often. They never want to retire. It's not a money thing we have good money. My dad's catchphrase is literally "never stop striving".
I guess i basically just realized that my parents don't love me and never really did and 100% picked there careers over me. Being in high school is making me realize how far behind i am socially too and I think its because of this. I don't know how to talk to people. My mom never taught me things they were supposed to, my dad just doesn't care about me at all. I'm so depressed.
I tried bringing it up at dinner a few nights ago and they both just kinda made excuses and said I was overexaggerating. I asked when my birthday was. They didn't know. I know theyre birthdays. I thought maybe that would bring some magic change but no. Back to usual. They just don't care.
TL;DR: My parents have neglected me my whole life and i realized it recently after reading a book and i don't know what to do about it. I'm afraid it permanently messed me up.
Submitted November 30, 2018 at 05:15PM by gbethchinchinchin https://ift.tt/2QvM4Qy
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