Lana and I have been dating for 13 months. At first it was very casual but the last seven months or so we have gotten closer and serious and she introduced me to her family which she says she never does. We're looking to move in with one another early next year.
A few weeks ago she said she was going to get a tattoo on her upper arm. I'm not a tattoo guy and was like "aawww don't go do that" but then she told me it was to honor her late fiance. When she was 24 they got engaged, but a month later he came down with a viral infection and passed away in the hospital. This man's daughter from a prior relationship is a tattoo artist now and Lana found a rose design her fiance drew for her and put in a love letter and wants his daughter to do her ink with the guy's name and birth/death year. I felt like a jerk for chiding her at first and said "yeah go for it" but I didn't like it from the jump.
We had a long talk after we first got serious about what she went through with this guy and his death. To be honest, they did not have a great relationship if you ask me. I can only go by what she said, but even ten years later she does not sugar coat this guy did not treat her right even after they got engaged. She is still close with his parents and daughter and extended family who have always been very good to her and I feel some of this need to remember him in someway is for them or something.
Last night she talked about plans to go get it done this weekend and she could tell I was withdrawn. She lured me into straight up saying I don't want her to get it by acting like it was no big deal if I felt that way and then almost got instantly mad, called me an asshole and can't believe I'm threatened by a dead man. I pointed out her saying he wasn't a great guy her words and stories and that only ramped it up and she walked out. Now she's ghosting on our Friday night plans and not replying to my texts.
Am I just an asshole here? I realize she would have married this man but ten years later why now? I just think the man's daughter has a lot to do with this and maybe there's a feeling of pressure there to do it for her.
TL/DR; Girlfriend getting tattoo honoring late fiance who died 10 years ago and wasn't really a good guy, not sure how to interpret this.
Submitted November 30, 2018 at 07:08PM by Squibkicker https://ift.tt/2zyl758
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