I [19F] met my boyfriend [20M] of 7 month's best friend [~20M] for the first time last night and he got drunk and made it clear that everyone including my bf prefers bf's ex over me. Don't know what to do.

The title is the gist of the story, but I'll put more detail. I met my boyfriend 7 months ago at the park. I was feeding ducks and he came up to me to ask me why I was feeding them grapes (always give ducks grapes! Bread makes the water nasty and gets them sick) and we started talking from there and have been together ever since. He's always been sweet, caring, and lovey but manages to seem kind of distant at the same time. Even after 7 months, meeting each others families and even spending Thanksgiving together I feel like there's a lot I don't know about him, and this was confirmed last night.

I've seen my boyfriends best friend, who we'll call "Dylan" maybe once in my entire life, and that was when he came to bf's apartment to drop off some type of cable or something like that he borrowed. The most I've ever said to him was basically "hi, he's in the restroom, ill tell him you came by, no problem, bye." The reason I say this is to illustrate that I don't know the guy from adam, haven't given him any reason to dislike me or acquire any type of feelings at all for me really, which is why what happened came so out of left field.

Last night my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to a Christmas "party" which was basically just gonna be a kickback where the 4 guys in their friend group brought their girlfriends and everybody would just drink and chill. That sounded pretty fun to me, and like I said I don't know his friends well and I wanted to meet them. We went, everything was fine, the other girls there were super nice and everyone was having a good time. Dylan was drinking way more than anyone else was and was starting to get loud and obnoxious, and as the hours went by the couples all kind of drifted and did their own thing, went outside or played a video game or whatever.

Soon it was just me, my boyfriend, and Dylan after Dylan's girlfriend passed out on the couch. My boyfriend was super tired beforehand and always ends up passing out when he drinks so eventually it was just Dylan and I. We were talking about a movie that is coming out soon, and somehow the conversation went from movies to theater and D started taking about boyfriend's ex and how she did theater and how boyfriend and his ex actually met in high school theater class. Boyfriend had never mentioned this girl before so I was like "oh, what was she like?" And D went on this long tirade about how amazing and interesting and funny she was and how everyone absolutely loved her. Apparently boyfriend was completely obsessed with her, wanted to marry her, the whole nine yards. He talked about how once for her birthday my boyfriend had nearly filled her room with flowers and balloons, and had given her things like promise rings and giant teddy bears. He apparently constantly talked about her and gushed about her, and Dylan said that in addition to that the whole friend group loved her as well. She ended up moving away for school and they all fell out of contact. She's basically my boyfriend's "one who got away".

I was drunk, and I cry easily, so I tried to brush it off but D kept going and ended on saying "you're cool and all but I'll be real with you, [boyfriend] would take [ex] back if he could and none of us would blame him." Then he passed out.

I was drunk and my boyfriend had driven his car there so I ended up ordering a lyft and went home to cry myself to sleep. I woke up in the morning to my bf's usually good morning text and then a second one asking if I was feeling okay. I told him i was fine, and he left it alone. My head is spinning and I'm so hurt. Listening to how my boyfriend treated his ex compared to me honestly broke my heart, I wont even lie. I'm not someone who demands gifts or money or whatever but its hurtful to hear he did all these things for her and the most I've ever gotten from him was a bottled ice coffee that I gave him the money for while he went out. I've paid for our dates since the beginning, and on his birthday and sometimes randomly I'll give him little gifts to say "hey I love you and I was thinking about you". Hearing he gave this girl flowers and rings while I have to beg him to cuddle me sometimes just let's me know that what D was saying was true. I'm just very very hurt and I don't know how to process it. Obviously talking my boyfriend I was fine was the wrong thing to do and I should have immidealty said what was bothering me but I didn't. Now that I've lost my window, I don't know how to open this conversation and tell him what i heard and how I feel. I also feel like this shouldn't be such a big deal and I'm making this into more of an issue than it should be. I mean, he's with me and not her, right? That should be enough, right? I don't know what to do anymore.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend's friend told me that bf loved his ex more than me, treated her way better and wanted to marry her. They broke up mostly amicably when she moved and she's his one that got away. Hearing that broke my heart and I don't know how to move on or talk to my bf about how I feel. Please help.

Submitted November 30, 2018 at 03:47PM by kplorbc98 https://ift.tt/2E6jC1R