Hi r/relationships sorry if this is a very very long post but I need a third party opinion on this.
I am 23 and live in New York City and finishing my last semester of grad school. My GF is 20 year old Junior who goes to school in Albany.
Some back story: My GF and I have known each other for many years our families are very close with each other. She and I have been hooking up on and Off for the past few years and have always liked each other. We didn’t date at first because she was still in high school and I was in undergrad upstate plus the age difference. I never loved anyone like this girl and couldn’t believe I could like someone soo much. Our official relationship began over the summer near the end of July. We rarely fought and had great sex and our families were very happy we were finally together. We’ve talked for many years about getting married and having kids
However, there were some red flags that I ignored early on because I was in such love with her.She constantly talked about her ex-boyfriends she went to school with and it kinda annoyed me. She was very controlling and made me not use social media such as Instagram and delete all girls even friends off my Snapchat. I agreed to all this because I loved her. She also is going though lots of difficulty with her family. Her father used to be a major lawyer but now is a struggling drug addict in and out of jail. Her mother is struggling to make ends meat to send her and her sister to school.
When she left for school in late August, I felt everything was fine with our relationship. We shared each other locations so I know where she was. She is president of her sorority and would go to lots of fraternity parties and mixers on weekends. Most nights her location showed she made it back home. Other nights she would sleep downtown were the parties where. I bought up my concern to her once. She said she slept at her roommates cousins Johnnies house. I joked saying did You sleep on the couch and she got mad at me saying she needed space for the rest of the day. I didn’t ask her again when she slept downtown because I didn’t wanna anger her more. Another night she posted a Snapchat story of her kissing a guy on the cheek. This upset me I told her to take it down. She told me she wanted space again and called me controlling.
Because of her financial situation I would send her money on Venmo her money ever week because she struggled financially. I would also write her history papers for her. I did this because I truly love her and didn’t want her to struggle. I now regret this deeply.
Around October I haven’t seen her in over a month and asked if I could visit her. She said no she didn’t want me invading her life up there. I should’ve broke up with her then but didn’t because I loved her for so long and was going to see her on thanksgiving. And she said she was going to let me come up to formal at the end of the semester. At the beginning of November her sister who goes to the same school. Spoke to me about not liking school at Albany and she didn’t wanna go to date night later. I asked if her sister was going and she said no.
Later on that I got a Snapchat from my GF in a dress and make up. I asked her why she was all dressed up and she said to me don’t worry. I asked her if she was going to date night and she said it was a first date themed party. The next day she says she appreciate everything I do for her but wanted to take things slow with me. Her excuse was she need to focus on school work. I asked if we were still exclusive but she said I shouldn’t worry. She gave some B.S excuse that she wants to get back with me and there is no time frame when we get back together.
I lost my mind because I felt like I did soo much. The next steps I took were excessive but led me to find she was cheating on me. I messaged her mom who was basically my aunt and told her what happened and the truth of all the money I send her. She was very mad at her daughter. I then DMed her ex boyfriend from school on instagram. I did this because I had my suspicions. He told she didn’t say ever she was dating me and they had sex a few times together during the semester. He said when he dated her she cheated on him a bunch. He was able to prove it with a screenshot recording of her texting him to come over on our anniversary to come over at 3am and have sex. He said he also saw her with other guys walking home some nights.
So I then deleted her 20 page paper I worked on all semester for her on the google doc I shared with her. She said she didn’t cheat on me and denied everything and tried to turn it on me for telling her mom about the money I sent her. She demanded to her I give her the paper back yelling and screaming and I did. When her mom called me I told her everything about her daughter cheating on me she didn’t believe it. She wanted us to meet over the winter break and talk things out and be friends for now because our families are very close. I’m just very hurt because I never loved anyone like her for so long. I still have some feelings for her because I loved her for many years. But all my friends and close family say she is no good. What should I do?
tl;dr: Girlfriend cheated on me while at school. Her mom still wants us to be friends and talk. I Should I also tell her professor I wrote all her papers?
Submitted December 01, 2018 at 07:06AM by samlou97 https://ift.tt/2G25SXE
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