My (20F) girlfriend is in a friend group with 3+ guys she has a sexual history with, and is trying to rebuild a friendship with a guy who almost prevented us from dating. How should I express my (20M) feelings to her that this makes me uncomfortable?

I've been dating my girlfriend for about 5 months, and it's been a really fantastic relationship so far. We get along super well, share a sense of humor, and invest a lot of time and care into one another. Our sex life is also very good, and both of us are really happy with it.

The only major sticking point for us as of right now is her relationships with her male friends. Before we met, she dated one of them, hooked up with two of them, and was friends with benefits with a fourth. Considering the fact that they're still a friend group, it creates a lot of uncomfortable tension for me every time I spend time with them as a group, and there's usually a weird tension between me and any single one of them when we interact.

Although those relationships make me somewhat uncomfortable, one past / continuing connection she has bothers me more than all of the rest combined. Before we dated, she had a dependence on this guy to help her deal with emotional issues; she told me they would spend days at a time stoned together, and hooked up many times in the past. This alone didn't necessarily bother me that much; everyone has deals with issues in their own personal ways, and that dependence obviously doesn't exist anymore.

The problem is, he continues to be a factor in her life. Not long before we began dating and became exclusive, she talked with him and might have hooked up with him, and then called me tearfully to tell me that she was questioning her connection with me. She told me a couple days later that she'd cut him off and they'd ended things on a final note, so I wasn't worried about him continuing to be a factor. However, this fall, she's began to initiate conversations with him again and has told me that she still views him as an important person from her past and would like to become friends with him again in the future. I've told her that I won't stop her, but I need her to communicate with me about their friendship.

At the end of the day, all of these continued connections cause me a lot of anxiety and make it difficult for me to completely trust her. I tend to keep my exes at a distance, and the fact that she seems to be surrounded by hers is pretty strange to me. How can I express discomfort with these relationships and what should I do to tell her that this is weird for me and that I'd like her to change the paradigms of these friendships?

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TL;DR: My girlfriend is trying to rebuild a friendship with a guy who she has a recent sexual history with, and I'm looking for advice on how to express my discomfort / change her approach to handling her exes.

Submitted October 31, 2018 at 12:06PM by pine_apple_tree https://ift.tt/2Qcls3C