Hey everyone! So I [26f] just wanted to run this all by some of the wise folks of r/relationships
Today I went to my third counseling session with my therapist. I found him on Psychology Today, and his profile looked promising. The first two times were pretty good, although a little bit unusual in the sense that he went very heavily into meditation immediately, discussed becoming "awakened", told long-drawn out stories to make his point, and even like... busted out in a mantra type song at one point while I was doing the breathing techniques he was teaching me. At one point while teaching me some grounding/meditation techniques, he began to cry. When I asked him why he had tears, he said "because when you become enlightened, you become much more sensitive". In other words, he's a what some might call "new age" type. He talked about how he had spiritual mentors and how "maybe when you graduate from me, I can send you to them".... I’m not looking for a spiritual teacher, but it seems he is going the route. At first I was excited about trying something new and untraditional because my BPD has been horrible for me — I’m willing to do anything.
While all of that was.... atypical, at best, I did get some good things out of the sessions and felt good about moving forward; I looked past some of his bizarre behavior because the core of his therapy was actually helpful and applicable to my current mental health issues. I'm pretty open-minded, and am open to new ideas + schools of thought. He had told me the first session when I mentioned that his style is way different , he replied with “well I don’t do this with all my clients” — trying to make me feel special?
I had a bit of a rough night last night (emotionally), and completely slept through my morning therapy today. I called him as soon as I woke up, sincerely apologized, then he asked if I would like to reschedule. I agreed and we met later in the afternoon. As soon as I walked in, he grabbed 2 chairs that weren't the typical comfy ones we sit on to talk, and placed them in front of one another about 4 to 5 feet apart. He told me to sit down and he sat in the chair across from me. He immediately went into wanting me to meditate. He instructed me to "go down and in, then tell me what you feel". I asked him for specifics on what he meant: did he mean what I felt emotionally, what I felt physically, what I felt my inner voice saying? I wanted to know specifically because he tends to be very metaphorical.... When he didn't answer, I laughed and said, "well, I don't know".
At that point, the session took a turn. He got silent, then said: "FEET FLAT ON THE GROUND!" I hesitantly did so while thinking, "what the fuck?". He then went on to lecture me about how I was not taking him seriously. He explained that me not taking him or the session seriously, I was being a bad client, and if I'm a bad client I won't heal... he went on to tell some mystical story (did the voices of the characters: deep wise man voice, little boy voice, mother's voice) and the summary of it was "you need to bring yourself fully to therapy sessions or else the wise man can't teach you". He literally was reprimanding me. I sat and listened, observing his behavior. It seemed I really pissed him off when I didn't understand what he was asking me to do. He did make a few valid points that I seem to want to please everyone, so I don't want to answer/say anything wrong, but a majority of his strange rant had to do with me not being serious. This took just about all of our hour together. I cringed inside when I had to pay him for the session, but I did. Before I left, he more casually ended with "I hope you don't take my challenging you as rejection, you just need to know what I expect and so we can have a mutual understanding in this relationship". That comment made me feel like he’s trying to test how much I can take? Idk it kinda felt like a test.
The more I think about it tonight: his spiritual type of teaching, his "master" complex, the "putting me in my place", etc - The thought briefly crossed my mind if this dude isn't some leader of a cult or something weird along those lines. I don't know how to handle this situation. I don't know if I'm being too sensitive about this and need to just talk to him about it next time - or if this man needs to be told he's out of line and never go again. Regardless, I wanted to see if anyone else has dealt with a therapist like this before?
TL;DR My new therapist got upset with me and accused me of not being serious, then lectured me for almost the whole session. I don't know how to move forward with my sessions with him or whether not to go again.
UPDATE: Wow, I was given a lot more sound advice then I expected. Thank you all so much. I sometimes have a hard time with saying "no" to people and placing my boundaries but after reading all of your comments, I decided I definitely am going to stop seeing him immediately. I sent him an email this morning that was very short and to the point. I am going to figure out how to report him, but plan to do so. Thank you all again!
Submitted October 26, 2018 at 08:33PM by Highway_Queen https://ift.tt/2Ax1PxZ
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