I know the title sounds crazy and it’s probably not what you think. Long story short we were drinking with a group of people and the topic of his bachelor party came up. He mentioned wanting to do a “date dash” like they did in college but only with their guy friends. No idea what that was but laughed along.
On the walk home I asked him what a date dash is and he told me how they picked a partner from the sorority they were paired with and made dorky matching costumes and then went out and got drunk. Okay cool sounds awesome. And I laughed and was like “okay cool it was just throwing me off because of the whole ‘date’ in there.” And this is where it started going downhill.
The rest of the convo went like this:
Him: “Are you serious right now?”
Me: “Yes? I wasn’t upset or anything, just confused. It’s weird to hear your fiancé talk about dates, you know?”
Him: “Why.”
Me: “Because... of dating?”
Him: “Are you seriously telling me I can’t go on dates?”
Me: “What the fuck? Yes you can’t go on dates! We’re engaged!!”
Him: “So I can’t go to dinner with my friends? That’s now how this is gonna work.”
Me: “What are you talking about that’s not a date!”
Him: “Yes it is. Two people having dinner is a date.”
Me: “It’s literally not. You can obviously have dinner with your friends. You can’t DATE OTHER PEOPLE.”
Him: “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
You guys this is the weirdest shit I’ve heard. Is calling dinner with your friends a date a normal thing? We grew up in the same city. His parents and even grandparents were born here, there isn’t a weird language barrier.
We’ve never had communication issues like this before, and if anything I’m the one who doesn’t want to talk about something that bothers me. He insists he can go on “dates” with his friends and I’m so confused about what he’s trying to say. It could be my anxiety but dammit I need to know he’s not actually DATING other people the way I and probably you imagine “dating” to be.
Help? Thoughts? Similar experiences?
TL;DR Fiancé insists that going out to dinner is a date and that he’s allowed to do so. I agree he can go to dinner with his friends but it’s not a date and he can’t be dating other people while we’re together. Can’t seem to resolve this somehow.
EDIT: Thanks to a commenter asking if he used “dates” to describe handing out with his friends before, it clicked that he absolutely does. Copying my comment here.
Wow. Actually, now that you mention it, he’s definitely called them “man dates” and “hang out all night and play video game dates” before. He even last week told me “Guy Friend and I are gonna have a Red Dead date on Saturday.” For some reason that didn’t click until literally just now.
I’m pretty confident now that he doesn’t think “date” is always, or even mostly romantic (for whatever, really weird reason lol). I appreciate all of your comments and help thinking through this!!
Submitted October 26, 2018 at 12:02PM by WhatIsADateEven https://ift.tt/2JhCCdu
No comments:
Post a Comment