I [21 F] want to move out of my weird living situation with my [28 M] boyfriend and still stay together- and he's not having it!

My current boyfriend of a year and I started as best friends. We live in NYC and there were 3 of us from our friend group that decided to live together. I always knew we had a particular type of closeness that was always on the boundary of affection, genuine care for one another and love and living together really tapped into that and opened up our feelings for one another.

After a couple months of living together our relationship blossomed and I moved into his room and we got a new roommate to fill my room. Because of the living arrangement our rent for living in one room together is less than $500 a month which is AMAZING for a NYC college student (me) and my boyfriend who is paying off student loans.

In the last month or so I've had thoughts of moving into my own space/apartment with roommates. In hanging out/getting drinks with my friends it's almost like pulling teeth to get him to feel okay with me leaving him. Not only that, while I'm gone he doesn't quite know what to do with himself and I even went with him to the store to get snacks and a cool new beer and he was still very uneasy with me leaving. This is very obviously a trust/insecurity issue but I don't know if I'm ready for the pressure of living with my S.O right now.

I spoke about all of this with him and his immediate response was, "if you move out, sorry but I'm breaking up with you".

I've explained time and time again that I think this will help our relationship in giving me the space I need and him learning how to live with space. I have a lot of personal things that I need to work through and I genuinely think I will benefit from some space- creatively, emotionally and physically. I don't even want to see him significantly less I just want my own room and space to recluse to. I even told him I wouldn't move out until we we're both financially stable and set for the future (3/4 months) so it wouldn't fuck either of us up.

He sees this as a step back in our relationship and refuses to understand why I as an individual in my life want this right now and continues to threaten our relationship. He also says if I really cared about him I wouldn't make a decision like this without considering how he feels about it/how it effects him.

I know ultimately I will make the decision for myself to move out because I feel like it's what I need but I don't want to lose him.

Am I crazy? Or missing something? It would probably be within a mile or two anyways and I wish he would just see me- as I am standing right now and understand the importance of this in my life right now.

TLDR: MY BOYFRIEND DOESN'T WANT ME TO MOVE OUT AND ISN'T UNDERSTANDING WHY I WANT TO. AM I CRAZY? IS MY RELATIONSHIP DOOMED?

Submitted October 27, 2018 at 12:39PM by sarahjaxqs03 https://ift.tt/2Av9xJ6