Me (24f) and my bf (27m) have been dating for 6 months and have been good friends for many years before that. We have a great connection and I could truly see myself ending up with him, but there are some things that really make me question the relationship and even my own sanity at times that I can’t seem to make sense of.
• he doesn’t seem to get much joy out of / really care about anything outside of video games, sports, watching tv, and smoking weed
• he doesn’t have many friends / never hangs out with them. He spends all his time going to work and indulging in above activities which worries me, but he seems to be perfectly content with it
• any holiday or special occasion is completely meaningless to him. we spent his birthday and this new years playing video games inside, and this made me upset. I went out of my way to spend the holiday by him (medium distance relationship) and there were no initiatives on his end to make it special (go out for a movie or dinner, make dinner at home, nothing). It was just another night and we ended up making dinner because i asked him to (which i did 98% of the work). Not to mention i got him what i thought was a really thoughtful christmas gift, with a handmade card and all, and he still had only half my gift (which was laying out in his room in plain sight for me to see the whole week leading up to this) laying there. He seemed really apologetic and said he would make it up to me, and a week later he showed up with same gift unwrapped, threw it in my direction, and called it a day. This really made me feel like shit. I may have gone a little overboard with his gifts but thats just because i was excited to get things I thought he would like and I dont expect the same in return, its not about the money for me i just want the effort to show he cares. I wasnt even worth picking up a gift bag for, just some candy and a gift card still in the store bag with the receipt still in it.
• he’s very unromantic. He has never gotten me flowers even though he knows I like them and get them for myself, never holds my hand, never cuddles or lays with me after sex just immediately cleans himself up and gets dressed, doesnt really touch/grab me in random moments like most bfs seem to do.
•blows hot and cold. One day he’s texting me all day being sweet and planning a nice dinner, the next he seems like he’s just a friend.
Keep in mind that these are just his traits that im struggling with, there is plenty that he is / does that makes him a wonderful person otherwise that obviously wont be mentioned here. I also know that he struggles with mental health issues, so I struggle talking to him about these issues because i dont know how to have a conversation about these things without hurting him. I essentially want to know if these are things to be massively concerned about, if its just typical guy things , if these are all signs connecting to something bigger going on that im not seeing, and how to approach him about these subjects, especially since i’ve let so much pile up i dont want to make it feel like im attacking him either while still wanting to address all my concerns.
Tldr: bf finds no joy or interest in friends, family, or special occasions/making me feel special. I want to know if these are red flags, if they all amount to something, and how i can approach him about about all these things without coming off hostile/blaming
Submitted January 11, 2023 at 08:37PM by throwaway_babyyyyy https://ift.tt/E1M8sTL
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