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How do I (24m) accept my fiancé (23f) not wanting to lose weight with me?

We’ve been together for a few years and within the past year we’ve both gained a ton of weight and are the most we’ve ever been. She was stabilizing around 170lb at 5’3 for a while and is now around 200lbs.

I have gone from 170 to 195 which is heavy for me and I’d like to work on losing weight.

My girlfriend often makes comments about how if she were comfortable in her body she would wear a certain thing / other weight related comments so I figured this is something she would want to do with me.

I’ve purchased a gym membership and have been going everyday for the past 2 weeks to help create a routine for me. I was hoping my girlfriend would come with me, but she made excuse after excuse and one day she was finally willing to come, but it did take a bit of dragging.

We get there and I advised us to do cardio so we could lose fat all around, we’ve also been eating much healthier and cooking meals at home. She didn’t want to do cardio so instead used some of the smith machines.

Eventually she began crying and told me that she’s happy the way she is and is upset everyone makes comments on her weight

(her parents often say she should lose weight / how high blood pressure runs in the family. The parents are both overweight and one has gotten diabetes and they don’t want her to follow that path and always ask me to help her lose weight)

I comforted her and told her that I was confused because she spoke so much about going to the gym with me and made many weight related comments about wanting to lose weight, but is now saying she’s happy and doesn’t want to do any of that. She was upset the rest of the day and didn’t want to talk more about it, but I told her I wouldn’t push her to go to the gym with me unless she wants to and that she’s always welcome to come with me.

I’ve still been going everyday and I guess I feel sad that we aren’t doing this together. There is also a part of me that feels upset she’s okay with not caring about her body / letting go. I love her to death, but it’s a turn off that she doesn’t want to get back to her regular weight of 170 or even less.

She’s been tested and doesn’t have any medical issues to cause weight gain or prevent weight los and she isn’t depressed, she just really loves pastries and is a big foodie and feels like she would have to give that part of herself up if she decided to lose weight. I told her that wasn’t true and we can learn to balance both, but she doesn’t doesn’t believe me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

TL;DR: girlfriend and I weigh the most we have ever been and I want to lose weight together because we both wanted it, but now she says she’s okay with her weight and doesn’t want to work out with me and I’m not sure how to accept that



Submitted January 29, 2023 at 05:37PM by pancakeFlipperzswah https://ift.tt/qwHFpYX
How do I (24m) accept my fiancé (23f) not wanting to lose weight with me? How do I (24m) accept my fiancé (23f) not wanting to lose weight with me? Reviewed by KING SAMUEL on January 30, 2023 Rating: 5

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