Should I talk to dad about his complicated will?

TLDR: mom and dad have a complicated will and I am trying to decide whether to ask him to make changes.

My mom and dad are nearing 70. Sister and I are approximately 40. Each of us has kids that range from very young to college aged. mom and dad are not wealthy and are not poor. Depending on a variety of factors the estate will probably worth between zero and $5 million when they die. They have named an executor who is neither my sister nor I.

My sister and I are both financially successful and we don’t need the money. Several years ago mom and dad updated the wheel and then told us that we were not to be included on it. It’s fine. My real problem is about the complicated instructions. For instance, they leave their farmland adjacent to mine to a trust for the benefit of their grandkids, if they would ever like to build a house on it. Sounds good in theory, but it seems incredibly unlikely, especially for my sister’s kids who live 500 miles away. But it’s not at all clear to me what happens if the grandkids don’t wish to do this, or what happens to the land in the meantime.

Another provision is for education. They wish to leave money for the grandkids education, but there are requirements about them attending specific religious colleges that are approved by mom and dad. This provision in particular bothers me because the oldest kids wouldn’t get to benefit from it at all, and the younger kids would be forced to decide between a sensible in state college, and a private religious college that may or may not offer a degree path that they want.

I have been thinking that perhaps I should encourage him to change not the substance of his will but the complexity of instructions and conditions placed on his loved ones that will be left to navigate this. But I’m torn because I also feel like it’s not my place. That said, I also don’t want to be left with what I feel will be the negative consequences for our family of some of these choices of his.

My sister agrees with me, but feels we should not talk to him about this. She said that she thinks we can just deal with it between us after he is gone. But I don’t think that will be possible and I don’t think it will lead to good outcomes either. My experience is that it best when these types of matter is our extraordinarily simple.

Submitted January 26, 2023 at 05:59PM by Threevestimesacharm https://ift.tt/J2oKr9N