He met her when she was in high school because he was doing work for her friends parents. He says they didn’t talk for years but she recently reached out for him to do work on her house. He does handyman work.
He told me I don’t have anything to worry about and she is married. But he lied to me the first time he did a job for her and gave me a fake name. He said it’s because I had expressed concern over her in the past and he didn’t want me to get upset. I accepted this because I had questioned him about her in the past because I noticed her as a friend on his social media and asked him how he knew her because she was so young (I have a daughter not much younger than her). I also noticed her on his Snapchat. He doesn’t let me see his phone, but I saw it when he was next to me and asked him about it. He said that she uses Snapchat to send him pics and videos of work she wants done or to ask him questions about the renovations she’s doing. I accepted this as well and let it go.
I recently realized they were snapchatting late at night. I noticed because he was on his phone a lot and I checked his snap score, so I asked him who he was talking to. He initially lied and told me no one. Then he told me a friend and it’s none of my business because he can have friends. Then he told me it was a male friend. I asked him to show me his phone and prove it. We have had issues in the past with this exact scenario and it turned out to be inappropriate. So I have a hard time trusting him. Anyway, he refused to show me. I had a gut feeling it was her, so I asked her myself and she admitted it. She said it is innocent and she just sends him the same snaps she sends everyone else. Like pictures of her dog or her out with her friends and that he sends her pictures of jobs that he does. She told me they liked each other when she was “much younger” which is concerning because she is very young now. I confronted him and he admitted snapchatting with her, but said he doesn’t talk to her much other than about jobs he’s doing for her. He said he doesn’t know what she’s talking about regarding them liking each other.
I also spoke to her husband. He said he’s glad I reached out because he has had concerns also and asked her about him several times. He said she told him they’re just friends and admitted she thinks he likes her, but he’s never made a move. He didn’t know they Snapchat or talk about anything other than the work he’s doing for them. He isn’t comfortable with it either.
I told my partner this and he said I have blown this up into a bigger deal than it is. I keep trying to talk to him about it to get a resolution, but he gets angry and irritated with me and says I just want to argue. He still won’t show me any of their messages and tells me he still plans to talk to her. He said we have no way of knowing what she’s actually said to her husband. Basically, I feel he’s treating me as if I’ve done something wrong to him. He hasn’t apologized for any of this. He said he’s done nothing wrong and he doesn’t feel bad about it. He isn’t sorry for lying because he has to lie to me or I’ll overreact. I told him I would have never suspected anything if he hadn’t lied from the beginning.
I think I know this is not ok and I should leave. But part of me does feel like maybe I’ve made this more of a problem that it needed to be. And I really want to believe it’s innocent and I have nothing to worry about.
Tl;Dr My 43m boyfriend is snapchatting a much younger 26f married woman and hiding and lying about it. I’m not comfortable with it and neither is her husband.
Submitted January 28, 2023 at 05:24AM by Basic_Initiative3345 https://ift.tt/eyvargq
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