I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) for about a year now. He lives two counties away but we both go to charter schools with the same parent organisation. Last summer, we hit a rough patch, a combination of distance honestly, me not being a good partner. Even though we worked things out on paper, we didn’t really in practice. My mental health was plummeting and frankly I couldn’t deal with our relationship anymore; it was too stressful. So I dumped him. And frankly, it went HORRIBLY. He’s a sensitive guy. He almost immediately started crying. I stayed stony faced the whole time. One of my mental health issues at the time was emotional blunting. I made the mistake of doing it at my house, and had to pretty much kick him out since I couldn’t watch him cry any longer. After he left, I broke down. Not over the relationship, but how I hadn’t cried and basically acted like a sociopath. We ended up back together, which is how I learned that our breakup pretty much catalysed his ongoing depression, which still keeps me up. I know come summer when we’ll be going to college it’ll have to end. But I also know that he loves me too much and I’m going to have to be the one to do it. I can’t get it off my mind. The first time was so traumatising that I have no idea what to do or say. I could wait until last second, or do it after graduation, right before I go on a girl’s trip. I feel like that may seem shallow. I have no clue. I hate it all. Every single detail I have to work out just seems impossible to get right. I hate this but I know I’ll have to figure it out eventually. I know his emotions aren’t 100% my responsibility but I do love him and I’m terrified.
tldr: dumped my boyfriend. it was horrible. gonna have to do it again within a few months.
edit: clarity.
Submitted January 18, 2023 at 10:31AM by traumadumper https://ift.tt/6lZQBDV
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