I (27M) think my SO (26F) of 3 years is against having kids, since she gets pissed whenever I mention it. How do I open/approach this conversation? I desperately need advice.

I want kids, always did. I love caring for other people's children when they're away, kids love me, and just the fact of having a family and a legacy really makes everything worth it.

My girlfriend is 26, I'm 27. Neither of us is in the position to have kids RIGHT AWAY - career goals mostly. But I always envisioned marrying and starting a family around or before my 30th birthday.

This is a dealbreaker for me and I've talked with her a looong time ago about it. She also said she was planning on having kids in the future, which was enough for me since we barely started dating. However lately I've been getting a feeling she changed her mind COMPLETELY.

Whenever I bring up kids - be it in a joke, observation, picture of someone else's child, ANYTHING - she immediately dismisses it. She either scoffs, sighs, or simply ignores it. I've tried pushing this conversation a bit further to understand her, and almost always she says:

• Kids are expensive
• Pregnancy would destroy her body
• Complications can kill her and/or a child
• Etc.

Honestly, I'm heartbroken. We've been together for three years and never once did she talk like this. I've tried several times to talk about this topic in a more serious manner, but almost always she gets completely irritated and enters a fight mode. I'm always dismissed with "hey OP, please stop talking about this I'm tired/doing something else/can't be bothered".

My problem is that, not only do I not know how to open up this serious conversation, but I'm terrified that I would hear her say she doesn't want kids - and I'd need to break up with someone I genuinely care for and am considering marrying, building a future together, and so on.

Have you been in a similar situation? Do you have any tips how can I approach this sensitive subject without pissing her off and/or creating a fight out of nothing? I desperately need some advice.

tl;dr: I thought my SO wanted kids. Three years later, it seems she's completely against having kids which is a dealbreaker. Lately whenever I mention having a family she completely ignores the conversation. I want to bring it up but (a) I don't know how and (b) I've no idea how to react if I hear the bad news.

Submitted January 19, 2023 at 06:18AM by EducationalMinute355 https://ift.tt/6PIGgsA