My husband's best friend recently died & wants to adopt his daughters. I'm nervous I won't be a great mother figure in their lives

I've [26F] been married to the sweetest, adventurous and most incredible human being I've met in my entire life. We've been together for 6 years, married for one. We're the parents of a beautiful 2 year old daughter & truly hoping to have more children our lives. 2 weeks ago my husband's bestfriend died of a drug overdose and he's heartbroken. They grew up together their whole lives, they were practically like brothers. Unfortunately my husband's friend got addicted to drugs (my husband tried getting him off them) and well, it sadly didn't end on a good note. He's leaving behind his 10 year old twin daughters & my husband is scared. He's always been like a second father to them, always babysitting them, taking them out & being in their lives ever since they were born. The mother was never in their lives, so my boyfriend stepped in to help his best friend.

Right after the death of this friend, my husband panicked. He doesn't want to lose the twins, he loves them with all his heart and was afraid he'll never see them again. The girls also desperately wanted to be with him, as the only person they trust and love apart from their biological father is my husband. He spent 2 days with them, he told me he really wanted to be with the girls & I told him to go because they really needed him. I didn't hear from him in those 2 days, but close friends of ours that saw him said the twins are absolutely devastated. The girls refuse to speak to anyone from their father's side of the family (they don't have a good relationship) and only want to be with my husband. On the third day, my husband & I had a serious talk on the phone. He wanted to bring the twins to stay with us for a while and I could tell by his voice that he really needed this. How did I feel about all of this? I was 100% supportive. I felt awful for those poor girls, losing their father in such a young age. It breaks my heart they're going through all this pain, so I immediately agreed that they can stay with us.

Ever since I agreed, the girls have been staying at our place. I can definitely say that those poor girls really need my husband, they absolutely do. He's hold them constantly, hugging/cuddling with them, showing them so much love & being right by their side during these bad times. They're also scared of being left alone which hurts to see. Everytime my husband gets up, the girls always ask him if he's coming back but with a huge worry on their face. He always assures them that he'll return, that he'll never leave them. The sweet thing is that the girls are starting to get comfortable with me little by little. One of them approached me slowly and asked if she can help with cooking. Letting her help me was such a great bonding moment together and seeing her smile & giggle was incredible to see.

Their stay with us has been very positive. Everyday the girls are much more cheerful, still hurting, but my husband makes sure their stay with us is full of love and comfort. They also love spending time with our 2 year old daughter, it always cheers the twins up when our little girl wants to play. One of the twins even called my husband dad out of nowhere, she apologized to him & he told her she didn't have to apologize at all. That moment showed me just how much love and trust they have for my husband, which shows me what an fantastic father he is.

My husband spoke to me yesterday about wanting to adopt the girls. He actually spoke to the biological mother, she still doesn't want to be in her children's lives. The family of my husband's friend (who know my husband very well) have agreed they'll let him adopt the twins, because they believe they won't be able to care for them like he does. He wants them in our lives, he wants to give them a comfortable & happy home and wants to protect/love them. He says he knows the both of us can be so loving to them, which is something they truly need at the moment. In the end, he said he didn't want to lose them. I also want to say that my husband isn't forcing me to do anything, he simply told me what he wanted to do and gave me all the time I needed to think about it.

So that's what I've been doing, I've been thinking about it. What do I want? I want to adopt them. These sweet, innocent and kind girls don't deserve anymore pain in their lives. I'm afriad they'll end up with people that don't care for them, I know my husband loves them with all his heart. I'll be more than happy to go through with the adoption, give these girls a happy life they deserve. But, I'm also incredibly nervous. I'm nervous that I may not be the best mother figure in their lives. Yes I have a 2 year old daughter, but these girls are 10 & they've never had a mother figure. I'll have 3 kids in my life now, I'm scared I won't be able to protect them all. We can financially support them and have so much room in our home, but as a mother I fear that I may not be the best for them.

I want to adopt them soon, but I feel what I'm feeling is just the motherly instinct in me. Like I said, I want more kids & I feel this is the universe's weird way of making me a mother to a much bigger family.

I'll really appreciate some advice or your perspective about all of this. I'll greatly appreciate what you may have to say, especially because my husband is still hurting from the loss of his best friend. I'll admit, I'm hurting as well. It hurts to see my husband & the twins being heartbroken, but I notice they're immediately happy when they're together. I know they need each other right now. I still haven't spoken to my husband about my decision, wanted some helpful input before I officially speak to him.

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Submitted January 16, 2023 at 01:05AM by TaquitosLoquitos https://ift.tt/oz4GhBb