My(f30) boyfriend (m37) told me that he knew he was committed to me when he had chances to cheat but didn’t act on them. When I asked what the situations were, he didn’t want to tell me. I pushed for more info and now he’s upset with me. Been together now for 5 years.

For context: This conversation happened on a casual phone call today where we ended up talking about relationships and the different ways couples deal with infidelity. (I feel like its also important to note that his “commitment decision” would have been somewhere around the 2 year mark of our relationship)

So, he casually mentions that he knew he was committed to me because ‘he’s had a few opportunities to cheat in the past but never acted on them’. I asked him what the situations were and his response was “It was years ago in the beginning of our relationship. I’m not giving you any details” which to me is more weird than just saying what happened. So I egg him on for more details but he doesn’t budge. I say that it’s more incriminating that he wont tell me anything at all because now i feel like the situations were suspicious and I want to know the context. But to him, he didn’t feel like he needed to give me any details because it wouldn’t be healthy or productive. He was insinuating that I’d blow it out of proportion and make a bigger deal of it than it needed to be. This went from a “haha” conversation to a “wtf” conversation real quick.

Now he’s mad at me because I kept asking questions and he felt like I was trying to get my answer in a round-about way (which I was, I’ll admit). He also feels that it was unfair of me to use the word “incriminating” because now I was insinuating that he did something bad.

My perspective is that there must have been something suspicious going on, otherwise he would have just told me what happened if it was really no big deal. I would feel differently if this was a random situation of someone coming on to him because they didn’t know much about him or know that he was in a relationship and him turning the situation down versus him entertaining the idea of stepping out with someone he’s closer with whist in an exclusive relationship.

Was I in the wrong to have probed for more information and did I over-react and make this a bigger deal than it needed to be? Currently, Im the bad guy so I was hoping to get some perspective before we talk again.

TLDR; Boyfriend casually mentions that he knew he was committed to me because ‘he’s had a few opportunities to cheat in the past but never acted on them’. After asking for more info, he says ‘no’ and is mad that I kept asking and that is unfair of me to insinuate that he did something bad. Was I in the wrong to have probed for more information and did I over-react and make this a bigger deal than it needed to be?

Submitted January 16, 2023 at 05:28PM by bnanaabread https://ift.tt/EpaxgPf