I (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together for 3 years. We have always had an amazing relationship and have acted as the inspo couple to all of our friends.
Recently he sat me down and told me he feels that I make him feel like he is stupid and he doesn’t feel supported by me. It has always been the unspoken thing that I will be the higher paid one out of both of us after university. I study 4 A levels( physics, chemistry, biology and maths) and will study chemical engineering In university ,whereas he is now redoing his academic year instead. I don’t exactly know what more I can do to make him feel supported though. He feels that I regard myself as higher within our relationship because of this and I really do not. However, I think that is in fact how he sees us from his own eyes. I genuinely see him on the same intelligence level as me and I do believe that he can achieve just as much ,if not more than me. Yet he doesn’t believe me. Apparently he has felt like this for a few months and has even talked to his mother about it.
Part of the issue why we see separately in different situations ,such as this, is because we both grew up very different. I grew up in a wealthy upper middle class family and I always went to private school. My boyfriend however grew up in a working-class family. So there have always been a few divides there.
I always try to tell him how proud I am of him and try to believe in him but he has a view about work and the education system. He views it much like the matrix. He sees it as a system which one is forced into and one which he doesn’t seem to want to partake in. And I agree to the most part however, I wish to instead take opportunity in that and “play” the system. I don’t see there being any other way and therefore sometimes I think he’s a little delusional. I don’t know what to do or what more he really wants from me.
I try to support him every single day and I try to ensure my behaviour doesn’t upset him. Sometimes it feels like walking on eggshells. Whenever I have an issue or an argument with him he always dismisses my emotions and says I was being angry at him for no reason. However when he brings stuff up like this to me it’s always so serious and we take weeks working on it. Idk what to do. Idk how more I can change my behaviour to not upset him. Maybe it is something wrong with my mindset because of the environment I grew up in.
I just need a second opinion.
TL;DR! Boyfriend feels lack of support and can’t see the future of our relationship due to the fact that I will most likely be in a higher paying job in our future due to my academic trajectory compared to his.
Submitted January 23, 2023 at 12:30PM by ro-po https://ift.tt/54H2fLa
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