My gf (F-38) and I (M-36) have what would be a strong and healthy relationship but still a relatively new relationship (11 months together). Our libidos are vastly different and what I thought I would be able to handle is causing massive problems for me. Looking for advice.

Throwaway because my gf browses reddit as well. Marked NSFW because I talk about sex and could be considered NSFW. My gf (38) and I (36) got together 11 months ago, and we have a wonderfully fun and healthy relationship -for the most part. One of the main places we've had issues lately is our libidos.

My girlfriend can have sex once or twice a month and be okay, whereas I prefer sex at least twice a week. As you can imagine, this is quite the difference in sex drives. I'm the type of individual who derives intimacy from sex, and my girlfriend doesn't. Initially we had a conversation about sex drives when we first started dating, and we both seemed to be on the same page that I definitely had a higher sex drive, but that the likelihood of at least once or twice a week was doable on her end. She mentioned that she couldn't be the sole source of my sexual fulfillment, which I completely understand, as masturbation is a healthy aspect of sexual health, but also told her that I need sex to feel wanted in the relationship. (As a side note, she's mentioned on countless occasions that I'm the only partner she's had that cares about her having an orgasm, and the only one to spend 10+ minutes giving her oral every time we have sex (this is basically the only way she can orgasm outside of a vibrator). I'm also apparently the only one to give her an orgasm via PIV stimulation. Prior to our relationship, she masturbated regularly, and in her previous relationships, masturbation was the only way she would get off -ever. She also still masturbates now, usually during the middle of the day. I guess I mention all of the above because one's first thought might be that "maybe you're not pleasuring her during sex" and wanted to get that out of the way).

The issue is that I've hit a point where I no longer feel wanted in the relationship, as the lack of sex is really affecting my desire to ultimately stay in the relationship. We already had a discussion once about our wants and needs after about 7 months into the relationship as a sort of "checkpoint", and one of the things I brought up was my need for more sex. I mentioned needing it at least twice a week, to which again, she mentioned she would work harder towards this. To her credit, it's been another 3 months, and frequency has become 3 times a month, compared to the previous 2 times a month. However, I'm getting to the point now where I'm questioning whether this will get any better or change. I recognize new habits take time to build up, but I also don't want her to have to change who she is as a person, and what she is comfortable with, just to appease me. It's simply not fair to ask that of her.

Some extra info: We live together, neither one of us has kids, neither one of us has particularly stressful jobs, not really hurting on money, her longest relationship was 7 years, my longest was 10, both have had multiple partners over the years, overall happy and have fun together.

What I'd like some input on, is if it seems like I should just end the relationship now due to incompatibility on that one aspect of the relationship (as it is becoming increasingly apparent that it is bothering me considerably), or give her some more time to potentially change, and if it's even fair of me to ask her to change?

TL;DR! : Girlfriend and I have different libidos. Need some advice on whether or not waiting for any sort of change after previous conversations is beneficial or if I should just end the relationship?

Edit: Girlfriend is on non-hormonal birth control, we live in the US, don’t want kids, not religious.

Submitted December 12, 2022 at 06:50PM by Throwmythoughtsaway0 https://ift.tt/zXVrqid